On Choreographed Dances in Real Life

I find myself wondering what real life would be like if everyone knew the choreography for any given situation?

What would it be like to walk down the street, burst into song, and know the strangers strolling around will jump in as back up singers and dancers?

How cool would that be?

How strange too.

Then again, I don't know many people who randomly burst out in song and dance while picking up their laundry or doing grocery shopping.

I also guarantee we didn't have a choreographed dance number at my prom.





Do you ever find yourself breaking into song and dance?

Do you ever wish strangers would join you like they do in this clip from Enchanted?













Then again, if life was like Enchanted, roaches would scrub tubs, and I'd be wearing dresses made out of drapes...

Thoughts?

R.S.

On Building the Future

What's tickling my ears? Eminem: Cleaning Out My Closet

There are days when I seriously wonder what the future is going to be.

Not my future, but the future of my child and her peers.

Whitney Houston once sang that she believed our 'children are the future'.

If that is truly the case, shouldn't each parent strive to give their children every possible benefit they'd need to make their, and in turn our, future strong and bright?

Why is it then, so many children go without the proper love and guidance they so desperately want and require?

Why is it harder to get a driver's license than it is to become a parent?

Why are there so many child abusers getting away with bruising their children both physically and mentally?

 Why is it still so hard to protect the innocents from the horrors, and traumatic experiences they suffer at the hands of an abusive mother, father or caregiver?

Abuse and neglect come in many forms. You never have to lift a hand to your child to injure them, to beat them. All it takes is casual disregard or negative words, and it can be as damaging as a physical slap.

The worth of a true parent doesn't have to come from what you can buy your child, but from what you give them of yourself.

Your time, patience, love, understanding, and forgiveness.

A true parent puts their child's wants and needs before their own.

Take this story for instance.

"I don't know what to do, Jess. Val's been acting up, not listening, and I'm at the end. I can't deal with it anymore."


Jess sighed. She'd heard this before. "Why don't you let her come here for the summer. She could stay with her uncle and I, and you could have some time to relax."


"It's just too expensive to buy a plane ticket. We can't do that."


She logged onto her laptop and brought up a site specializing in inexpensive flights. "A round trip ticket is only two hundred dollars. I'll cover half, and it won't be so bad. It's what's best for your daughter. She'll have responsibility, and a chance to be away for a while. It won't be a vacation, but you'll both get the space you need."


"No... We can't afford that. She'll just have to get over her attitude. Her father and I are going to buy a new seventy-two inch flat screen, entertainment center, and surround sound soon. It's more important for us to put away that hundred bucks than waste it on a ticket for that ungrateful brat."


Too often parents consider it more important to have the newest, most exciting and expensive toys, than to put that want off until their children were happier, healthier, or safer.

This behavior isn't the only sign of bad parenting.

Bad parenting also appears when you show negativity towards your child. Calling them stupid, or dumb, or worthless--it's abuse, and eventually will have an equally negative affect on the child.

Nobody is a perfect parent, but being a positive role model who puts their children's happiness and well being before their own needs and wants is a good start.

Showing you love them, and making sure you say the words is just as important as providing a roof over their heads, and enough food to nourish their bodies.

I love you.

Three little words.

Powerful. Healing. Empowering.

As long as you truly mean them and back them up with your actions.

Every day I make sure I tell my daughter I love her. I make sure she gets hugs and kisses whenever possible, and no matter what, I never show negative actions towards her. She will never hear anything except loving and positive words from me.

She will get every opportunity to thrive in a happy and loving environment, to become the best she can be. No matter what that is.

I believe my daughter is the future.

I will teach her and let her lead the way.

I will give her all the love she needs to go out on her own and be strong.

She will never have to walk in anyone's shadow.

She will never have to be afraid to talk to me, because she will know she is loved.

Love your children, and teach them how to love themselves and others.

It's the greatest gift of all.


R.S.


**I am not a psychologist, but I am a parent. I may not have a fancy degree, but I know what it feels like to not be shown love...and what it feels like to show it to my daughter.

On Battling the Bulge

Now this is dedication. I typed this entire blog on my phone. :) Whoa! Talk about thumb cramps! Anyway, onward with the blog!






While in High School I maintained a steady weight of 140 pounds. This wasn't a point of pride, or really even a concern for me. I just didn't think about it. At all.

I'd never had a tight flat stomach like so many of the girls. Mine had always rounded just a little at the bottom-- which for some reason I don't understand, many guys find sexy, my husband leading that race.

Not horrible by healthy standards, but I definitely didn't seem to have the body of a teenager.

Several years later, after my first pregnancy, that ended in the birth of an Angel no longer with us, I hit my lowest weight since puberty.

125 pounds.

This weight probably had more to do with what I wasn't eating, and what I was drinking--heavily and often-- than it did with any sort of weightloss plan or exercise regimen.

That however, is a story for a much later time.

After the birth of my daughter in October 2007, I weighed 135 pounds, a point of happiness for me considering my previously fluctuating weight.

Who knew being recently married, never seeing your new husband, and living in Hawaii almost completely alone could cause weight gain?

I know now...and so do you, kind reader.

Ah, I digress...

Six wonderful weeks after having my daughter, and enjoying the lowest weight I'd been since meeting my husband, I went on birth control--and promptly started packing on weight like I was a whale prepping for a cold spell.

I did everything I could to lose the weight.
The more I dieted, and the more I worked out, the more weight I gained.

When I hit 166 pounds on a 5'5" body, I knew something needed to change.

The birth control went away, I started drinking  Slim Fast shakes and watching my calorie intake. From October 2009 to December of that same year, I lost thirty pounds, and kept it off.

Unfortunately, happiness is seldom long lasting or guaranteed. Though I didn't gain anymore weight, I realized I wasn't where I wanted to be--physically or mentally.

My husband deployed in October of 2010, and while he was gone I used the pent up frustration to fuel my body shaping needs.

I worked out everyday, and still watched my calories-- a habit I've found is incredibly hard to break once you get into it. When he returned seven months later, I weighed the lowest my body can weigh and remain healthy. The look on his face when he saw me was priceless... and it didn't hurt that some of his first words after, "I love you," were "you're so tiny, I'm afraid to break you."

Since his return my weight has fluctuated between 128 and 134. By no means am I fat, but sometimes there is an eating disorder just lurking about waiting to hit me. It's a horrible feeling, and a scary realization.

Right now, my niece and I are doing P90X, not because we need to lose weight, but because we want to tone up.

We just finished our third week, and we are noticing changes in our arms, legs, and our butts.

Yes, for those who have known me my whole life, I am finally getting a butt. I can hear your gasps through the internet...my hearing is that good.

There is still quite a few long, hard, workout intense weeks ahead, and I'm sure there will be other noticeable results, or at least there better be dammit.

The thing is, physical fitness and being happy with yourself are not mutually exclusive, and not a one shot deal.
As a person gets older, their bodies change, and things start shifting and bulging.

It's life. It's natural, and it sucks.

You have to do what is right for your lifestyle, what is best for you, both mentally and physically.

Overall, be happy with yourself.

Don't be concerned (like I am) with every minor weight fluctuation.

Don't worry that you're not as skinny as actress XXX. Chances are she just came out of rehab for another eating disorder. 

Speak to a doctor, and do what is safe and healthy for your body.

Trust me when I say, it doesn't matter how skinny you are, what size pants you wear, or how much you weigh-- if your body gives out from a lack of proper nutrition.

That is, unless you're trying to be the sexiest corpse around.


What has your weightloss journey been like? What worked for you? What didn't?


R.S.

On Sweet Tea--Liquid Manna From Heaven

I love days when the sun is shinning, the temperature is hovering at the low triple digits, and I've got nothing more important to do than drink an ice cold glass of sweet tea.

Several years ago my husband and I were stationed on the East Coast, just outside of the Nation's Capital. The first time we walked into a restaurant and were offered a choice between sweet tea and unsweetened tea, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

Needless to say, things have never been the same.

When we moved to California it was depressing to realize the ease and availability of our favorite liquid refreshment (the kind without an alcoholic kick) wasn't what we'd gotten used to.

To this day, the only place in town offering sweet tea is McDonalds, and their version is more like an infusion of liquid sugar than a beverage the human stomach can actually digest.

Have Sweet Tea. Will  Travel.

My answer to this? I brew my own at home. Believe it or not, there is a science and an art to the creation of a perfect pitcher of sweet tea.

Not too much sugar so you're thrown into a diabetic coma after your first sip, and not too little so you're confused into believing you're drinking plain tea.

Believe me, there is a difference between 'sweet tea' and tea with sugar.

Huge difference.

As long as I've got my tea maker, assorted tea bags, and my choice of sweetener, I'll be just fine no matter where we're stationed.

What's your favorite sit-in-the sun beverage?

R.S.

On A Guest Blog from K. K. Sierra

I was recently told a story. A man and a woman had been married for fifty years.  Since retirement they always had lunch together.  As the man sets the woman’s sandwich in front of her she bursts into tears. Baffled her husband asks what is wrong.  She sobs, “Why do you always give me the heels?” Stunned he replies, “Because they’re my favorite.”

All those years, he had been giving her what he considered to be the best part of the bread, sharing his favorite part with her. In a world so incredibly full of selfish behavior we often assume the worst of people.

Assumptions are easy to make and can be so damaging. There is a reason expressions like, “assume – makes an ass out of you and me” and “assumption – the mother of all eff-ups,” exist.

I think the biggest and worst assumptions happen in relationships.

·         Does your husband work hard to support your family? Do you tell him how much you appreciate it? Or just complain about how little he helps with the kids/pets/house?
·         Do you think your wife/girlfriend is beautiful? Do you tell her? Or just assume she knows? 
·         Do you have a friend who is always there for you? Who is interested in the things you do and how you’re feeling? Are you there for her in return? Does she know how valuable she is to you?
·         Are you proud of your child’s accomplishments? Do you give them specific reasons? Or only a cursory “proud of you son?”
·         Do your parents run you around for soccer games, music, and to see your friends? Do you tell them thank you and mean it? Or do you think it’s “their job?”

The saying, “there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving,” is true until the time you’ve given all you have to give. Even the most altruistic person does not give for nothing. They’re looking for something in return. Anyone who says different is a liar. At a minimum, they’re looking for the light of hope; the knowledge that something they’ve done has made life just a little happier for someone else.

My advice for today, don’t make assumptions. If you’re unsure about someone or something, where you stand perhaps, ask. And if you’re the person who’s been asked, show enough consideration to respond. Don’t make assumptions. Life’s too short. Make sure the people you love, know you love them.  Thank those who make sacrifices for you. If someone inspires you, pass it on. 

On Sensory Memory

Our senses are our strongest weapons.

Sight allows us to avoid running into things, or stepping into a trap waiting to snap around our ankle.

Smell tells us when the chicken has spoiled and will insure us a lengthy ER visit if we eat it.

Taste backs smell up. It sends up the red flag to spit out whatever we're ingesting before we end up sitting in hard plastic chairs waiting to be seen at the ER.

Sound alerts us to horns blaring, sirens shrieking, or the urgent voice of someone yelling, "Fire!".

Touch can warn us when there is heat radiating from an object, or if something is rough and might cut, tear, or poke us.

Our senses are amazing.

And can also be a pain in the ass.

Or our best friend.

As I've said, a time or two in previous posts, my husband is a U.S. Marine. He deploys for seven months at a stretch, and my daughter and I don't see him or hear from him during the majority of that time.

While he is gone there are days I can go about my routine (because routines are incredibly important to a toddler, and even to a wife, when someone they love is gone), without feeling the painful thud of my heart. Everything will be hunky dory, and then...my traitorous senses wake up.

The scent of his aftershave will assault my nose as I walk through a store, and I'll look for him. Memories of him flood my mind, and though they are all happy, my mood becomes sad. It's the same way with his voice.

It's a rare and happy occurrence when he can call, and though his voice brings me happiness, it too brings me sadness. Sometimes it's easier to deal with his absence when I don't hear his voice anywhere but in my dreams.

Touch can often be the hardest one for me.

The texture of my sheets reminds me of the empty space beside me at night. The roughness of his extra uniform pokes at our missed hours. Mixed with the other senses, it's the one most likely to render me momentarily stupid...or weepy.

Sight can be a bitch all by itself.

Going places, and seeing sites you've visited with someone you care about can be both rewarding and heartbreaking. You've made memories there, and all of them flood back as you retrace the footsteps of your past...even in your present.

Big Train Chai

The same can be said about Taste.

My best friend, an amazing and thoughtful person, lives in Washington State. Approximately 1500 miles away. While I was visiting her last winter she introduced me to Big Train Chai, and my tastebuds have never been the same. In fact, whenever I breakdown and order Starbucks Chai, they throw up the proverbial middle finger.

It's just not the same.

Out here, in the middle of nowhere, there isn't a store where I can pick up the large bags of liquid manna. Yes, I could order it online and have it delivered, and I would...but I don't have to.

She sends it to me, and it means so much more.

On the mornings I allow myself a steaming (or in many cases, ice cold) cup of liquid heaven, I think of her. No matter how long it has been since I've seen her, she's right next to me as I take those first precious sips.

Yes, our senses are our greatest weapons... but they're also our greatest link to our past.

What sights, sounds, tastes, and smells bring memories back to you? I'd love to hear them.

R.S.

On the Twitterlution

Tweet! Tweet!

Awww, now isn't that cute??

For those of you who don't recognize the happy blue bird holding the 'follow me!' sign, he's the cartoonized mascot of the ever growing, ever popular, and to me at least, ever confusing Twitter.com-- or Twitter as those in 'the know' call it.

I've been trying to get a handle on all the facets of Social Media, and I'm pretty sure each of them will end up with their own WTH?! blog post.

Today's is obviously Twitter, and its status updates known universally as 'Tweets'. Now as I stated in my self-promotion post, I'm trying to get my name, and thereby my work, out 'there'. Apparently the only way to do that is by becoming not only a member of Twitter, but actually becoming a actively productive member of the 'Twitterverse'.

I get that it's similar to blogging, and to the status updates on Facebook (more on FB in a later post), but seriously, don't I spend enough time talking to myself without having to add another site and/or app on my phone?

On top of that, I currently have a whopping 10 followers, and some of those I think set it up to automatically follow me when I followed them. At least, I think that's the case. I don't really know, and I haven't actually found a helpful site to answer my questions.

Questions like: How do I get more followers, and Why doesn't anyone respond to my 'tweets'?

Of course, if I have followers I'll have to actually tweet, and that is one more responsibility heaped onto my already towering plate o' responsibilities.

Gotta love being an adult.

If anyone has any suggestions for how to go about finding my 'twitter groove' in this new and confusing world where everyone is a member of twitter including my OBGYN, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Maybe it isn't too late to get involved in the  'Twitterlution'.

Now, Go 'Follow me!'!

R.S.