On Insert Witty Title Here...

You know it's going to be one of those posts when I can't even think of a title.

I'm feeling jumbled today. Horribly jumbled in my head.

I've got a million things I need/want to do, and yet, I'm sitting here--for the most part--staring at the screen. There might have been drool involved a few times.

In the non-writing world--the day job world, the world where I'm also a mother of Wonder Woman proportions--I've got a ton on my plate. I've got to find out about all the legalities for the current venture I'm working on. I've got a ton of beautiful jewelry to make, photos to take, and like I said--legalities to learn and understand. Not to mention give as much time as possible to my little girl.

In the writing world I'm nose deep in editing a short, prepping to begin edits on a novel, and about half way through the current WIP novel.

I need to learn time management.

Something I used to be really good about.

Until the Marine left for deployment again.

This deployment seems much more difficult than any of the previous deployments. It could be that because for the second year in a row he's missing our anniversary (in two days), as well as all the milestones the Munchkin is making.

I'd really like to share them with him, without having to take a picture, video, or send an email.

I'd really like to sleep.

What do you do when you feel jumbled inside?

R.S.

On Determining Your Reality

When I was much younger I married another much younger guy who I'd been dating throughout high school. Unsurprisingly, we stayed married for about as long as Jessica Simpson and Nic Lachey. What is surprising though, is regardless of all the things that were wrong with our marriage, and all the things that led me to file for divorce when I was barely old enough to legally drink--one of the most fundamental parts of my life, my belief system, came from him.

He and I used to go for long drives and talk about everything and nothing at all. One of the things he'd always say is, "Your focus determines your reality".

A decade later, and I still stand by those words.

Your focus really does determine your reality.

If you focus only on the negative things in life, you'll never see the positive results. If you only focus on what you can't do, you'll never discover what you can do. If you only focus on the unhappiness you feel, you'll never notice the things that bring you happiness.

My husband deploys for months at a time, and if I allowed myself to focus on that I'd sit around sad and depressed all the time. Instead, I focus my mind on other things. I lock my thoughts on the future, on the classes I'm taking, the jewelry I'm designing for my 'day job', on ideas for new short stories and novels (not to mention the actual writing and editing of these), and I pay special attention to the joy I get from the Munchkin.

   
I'm not claiming to never have bouts of depression and melancholy. That would be a lie. I'm just saying I don't let myself stay there.

When I find myself feeling particularly down, frustrated, or angry, I take a few deep breaths and focus on something else. Something positive.

Even if that something positive is that I managed to do another day of yoga, or my back hasn't gone out. Sometimes you just have to grab onto whatever little thing you can. Each day it gets easier to focus on the good and not the bad.

It also helps to have someone to bitch to about all the little annoyances in your life. However, and this is a big HOWEVER, once you've bitched, let it go. Move on and focus on those positive notes.

I want my reality to be bright and positive. Filled with love, and books, and amazing jewelry and crafts I've designed and created.

What will your reality hold?

R.S.