On King Furry and the Bell

When the Marine and I first got our dog, King Furry he was a tiny thing barely old enough to be away from his mother.

I'm not particularly fond of owning animals, though we always have at least one in our house. I like them well enough, but since having the Munchkin I find them to be more work than pleasure.

The Marine has wanted a dog forever, and I always tell him no. I'm good at that. I'm also good at ignoring the cute puppies, kitties, etc that stare at me from shop windows and cardboard boxes.

Ten months ago I was in emotional upheaval. The Marine was deploying to Afghanistan, I was in school, the Munchkin was already chomping at the bit to show her independence (did I mention she had just turned three?), and less than a week before I was going to be left alone to deal with life-- we got a puppy.

What the hell was I thinking?

Apparently during my emotional overload, I'd lost my mind.

The first thing I did was crate and potty train our unknown Heinz-fifty-seven mixed breed. Then I enrolled him in obedience school. He passed both the AKC Smart Puppy and Canine Good Citizen training with flying colors--he is after all the dumbest smart dog ever.

During his first stage of training, the trainer gave me a bell to hang on the door for him to use whenever he needed to be let outside. Like with everything else he mastered the bell and routinely notifies myself and the Marine whenever he needs to make use of his facilities.

However, he's done one better.

Whenever he wants to go outside to bark at the overweight neighbor dog, or entertain himself by freaking out at the young neighbors to the side of us--he rings the bell. Then he'll walk back around the corner and stare at us intently trying to convince us to take him out.

This trick worked a few times before we got smart.

On a normal day it goes something like this:

KF: Walks over to the door and rings the bell

ME: Not now. You were just outside five minutes ago. You don't need to go again.

KF: Walks out and stares at me.

ME: No. Go to your kennel.

KF: Moseys to his kennel for half a second and slinks back to the door to ring the bell.

ME: The bell is for when you need to go to the bathroom! Not bark at the overweight neighbor dog! You aren't going outside!

KF: He slinks back into my line of sight and stares at me some more...and the vicious cycle continues.

I wonder how long until he finds a new way to get what he wants.


R.S.

On the 'Big Poopy'

There are several well known 'joys' of parenting. They're the ones everybody warns you about before you have children, or when they first find out you're pregnant. They're also the ones asked about during the first year of your child's life.

• Late night and early morning feedings.
• Changing diapers
• Burp up or formula spew
• Blow out diapers
• Feeding solids--or mush as the case may be.

What nobody thinks to mention comes later in a child's life. 

It comes after potty training. When your child is so proud of their accomplishments they want to share them with you. It loud, excited detail.

TM: "Momma, did you hear that Big splash from the Big poopy?!"

Me: "I sure did."

TM: "Come check my Big poopy, Momma!"

Me: *Sigh* "I'm coming."

My daughter is really going to love me when she gets older and realizes I share these stories with the world. 

Do you have any funny stories of parenting?

R.S.