On Lexa

Life is a fickle bitch. 

One day you could have the whole world in the palm of your hand, and the next, everything could be tossed around you like broken rag dolls. 

As anyone who has read this blog knows, I spent the last several months as a lifeguard. During that time, I met an amazing, vibrant, beautiful and caring, young girl. She is on Varsity Swim Team and Varsity Cheer. She came in early to swim laps, even though usually she ended up keeping me company in the early morning hours. 

She is only fifteen.

She made me smile every day.

She made me laugh, and she made me shake my head. 

She reminded me what it was like to be a teenager, and she would ask my advice on what to do to get away from the drama of being a teenager.

I spoke with her the other day, through Facebook. Just small talk about working out, getting in shape, and craziness of life. 

That was at 4 PM.

The next evening I found out she was in the hospital. She'd suffered a brain aneurysm. 

This beautiful girl, with her big smile and laughing eyes isn't visiting the pool anymore. She's fighting for her life in a hospital, attached to a ventilator. 

She is strong and a fighter, and I know she won't give up, but she can use help. I'm not religious, but I believe in the power of faith. Right now, every little bit helps. 

I've spent the last several days wishing I'd stopped to let her know what her visits meant to me, to make time for those plans we talked about. When I get the chance, the first thing I'll say to her is, "Thank you for caring enough to be you. Thank you for being my friend." 

Life is a fickle bitch, and you never know when everything will change. Don't wait to tell your loved ones how you feel, or how thankful you are for them. Don't put off having coffee with that friend, because you can't always do it tomorrow.

Keep Fighting Lexa. You're in my thoughts. Always.

R.S.

On Returning To the Real World After An Extended Absence

I'm baaaaack!

Please, please, no need for applause. ;)

After four long and exhausting months, I'm finally back and ready to get down to the busy and sometimes lonely business of writing. I've had characters and plots poking and prodding me for months now, and finally I'll have the time to do something about it.

As of today, I am no longer employed by someone other than myself. The experience of being a lifeguard, while rewarding and enlightening (not to mention physically active), just isn't what my life needs at this time.  I made the decision to step away from the poolside after many days of introspection, and weighing the pros and cons.

I made a few amazing friends and a bunch of pretty cool acquaintances. There are people I'll miss deeply, and some I'll never think of again. The last few months have been an educational experience, and the changes I've made in myself and my surroundings will continue to show throughout my life.

There are many reasons I chose now to go back to my quiet and mostly orderly world. I'd made the cut and had been kept on for the winter, and yet I have chosen to leave. Some of those reasons are easy to understand, some I will share at a later time, and some reasons will never be known by anyone but me.

While lifeguarding filled a void in me I hadn't realized was there, it was never my passion the way writing is. Though I love physical fitness, and in the next couple of years will realize my dream to become a personal trainer, it isn't the focus I need right now.

I need to focus on my family. On the Marine who should be getting orders to who knows where, shortly. On the Munchkin who is experiencing new things every day. I want to be there with her, I want to be awake enough to help her with homework, to make her lunch, and to spend quality time with her more than just two days a week.

I need to focus on R.S. Emeline, Author. She's been sorely neglected, and I'm afraid to see what damage my absence has done to that part of my life.

I need to just Breathe.

Something I forget to do sometimes.

So, starting today, I'm breathing life back into myself. I'm taking the bull by the horns, and I'm jumping back into the saddle (and any other quaint phrases you can think of). It's time to let those stories out, to refresh my blog, to make new friends and network again.

It's time to get back to me.

R.S.

On Getting Back in the Saddle

Since my decision to apply, train for, and become a lifeguard in early June, my life has not been my own. In fact, I barely recognize myself.

I'm TAN!

This is a huge deal, since I've never--not once--in my entire life, tanned. In fact, Casper had more pigmentation than I did.

Now, I'm a pretty caramel color that glistens nicely in the sun.

I'm also really toned, and find all of my pants are too big. It's getting hard to find pants to fit too. A huge personal goal has been reached here!

However, no matter how great those things are, what isn't as great--the real thing that causes me pause--is how little I've done in my chosen profession.

My profession isn't being a lifeguard. That's just something I chose to do for shits and giggles.

I'm a writer, and I'm an artist.

In the last two months, I've lost that. I've spent hardly any time doing what I actually NEED to do to be happy, or successful. During this time, my new novel, Murphy's Law came out, and I barely blinked. I sure haven't done the type of pimping I should have.

So, now that my body has forced me to take a break and slow down, it's time to get back in the saddle. It's time to remember that lifeguarding is just a small step in my life, not a permanent fixture. It's time R.S. Emeline got back to the basics.

With that in mind, have you purchased your copy of Murphy's Law yet? Go...go forth and read!

You know you want to read me! 

On Changing My Name to Grace...

Last Monday, while swimming my daily thousand meters, I got what felt like a cramp in the arch of my right foot. It wasn't a bad enough cramp to keep me from swimming, so I continued on--finishing the last six hundred meters.

That night I went to pick my sister up at the airport, and while driving home I realized my foot hurt, but didn't connect it to the pain from earlier (I'm just focused like that).

 In fact, I didn't think anything of the lingering pain until Wednesday, when after spending two days on my feet, moving large poolside equipment, I found I couldn't walk.

Turns out, I'm so graceful, I managed to get a stress fracture in my foot--without doing anything.

Usually, I'm obviously graceful. Doing things like, dropping an aqua-treadmill on my toe--on dry land, running over that same toe with a heavy guard stand, and separating that toe nail from the bed of my big toe with a rolling pool cart.

It's official, I'm changing my name to Grace.

On the upside?

The required downtime given to me by the doctor and being enforced by my employer, may give me time to get some real (AKA, writing) work done.

What are some of your graceful moments?

R.S.

On My Personal Time Suck

Today I realized I hadn't posted in almost a month.

A MONTH!

Where have I been all this time?

I'd like to say I've been spending my time on a tropical island with the Marine and all the fruity drinks with umbrellas I could drink, but I can't.

I can't even say I've been working on my next novel or preparing for the Murphy's Law book tour that begins on July 16th.

Don't forget to get your e-book copy where e-books are sold. :)

In all honesty, I've been hard at work on a new path in my life. A path guaranteed to keep me on my toes and in shape. Not to mention get me out of the house and around real people a little more often.

About a month ago I got hired and accepted into an intense lifeguard training program. Now, that might not seem like a lot, because teenagers can do it. You see it all the time. A bunch of summer break minors hanging around pools with lifeguard on their dainty little swimsuits.

Let me just say-- no. Not just no, but Hell no.

They never went through Lifeguard training on a Marine base. They also don't work at a Marine training tank where on a daily basis hundreds of Marines in full combat gear jump into sixteen feet of water. Often times, these Marines can't swim.

I spent two weeks learning not only the basics of lifeguard training, but how to do what those Marines do as well. This included jumping off towers between 10-30 feet above the water. Swimming 1500 meters in full clothes, stripping said clothes off in the water, diving to the bottom of sixteen feet to get those clothes, and putting them back on.

I can also swim with a flack jacket on--and let me just say I'd love never to have to do that again.

During those two weeks I'd spend eight hours a day in the water, come home and pass out. I'm not sure I even spoke words when I got home. Most of the time I was too exhausted to take more than two bites of food before falling face first into bed at 1900.

I took my final test early, in the dark of night when seeing anything in a pool was almost impossible. I also had the added excitement of being dive-bombed by bats while I rescued a guy out of the murky depths of the pool. On a full stomach. Two hours past my bedtime.

It was exhilarating.

The upside: I lost about four inches and five pounds. Everything is a lot more toned than it used to be, and I'm finally sleeping better at night.

I'm still working the same type of hours, and I love it.

Now though, hopefully I'll be able to find my balance (especially since school has started again, and I have four papers to write this month).

I've missed writing and blogging. I've missed checking my Twitter (yeah, I fell off the social networking planet altogether during the past month), and I've missed talking to my best friend. Overall, I'm exhilarated and happy, and I think choosing this path was the best one for me. It's filling a part of me I didn't consciously realize was empty.

It's also giving me tons of ideas for stories.

As if I didn't already have hundreds of those floating around in the Magick Notebook--and on my phone.

What have you guys been doing? I'd love to hear.

R.S.