We don't really celebrate Valentine's Day in our house. Instead, we focus on showing love each and every day. We're not big into the heart shaped boxes of chocolate, or the bouquet of roses. We are into spending as much quality time together as we can.
Guess that explains my lack of writing recently.
So, what are your plans for today? Roses, chocolate, bottles of bubbly? I'd love to know.
R.S
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Saturday, October 20, 2012
On Lexa
Life is a fickle bitch.
One day you could have the whole world in the palm of your hand, and the next, everything could be tossed around you like broken rag dolls.
As anyone who has read this blog knows, I spent the last several months as a lifeguard. During that time, I met an amazing, vibrant, beautiful and caring, young girl. She is on Varsity Swim Team and Varsity Cheer. She came in early to swim laps, even though usually she ended up keeping me company in the early morning hours.
She is only fifteen.
She made me smile every day.
She made me laugh, and she made me shake my head.
She reminded me what it was like to be a teenager, and she would ask my advice on what to do to get away from the drama of being a teenager.
I spoke with her the other day, through Facebook. Just small talk about working out, getting in shape, and craziness of life.
That was at 4 PM.
The next evening I found out she was in the hospital. She'd suffered a brain aneurysm.
This beautiful girl, with her big smile and laughing eyes isn't visiting the pool anymore. She's fighting for her life in a hospital, attached to a ventilator.
She is strong and a fighter, and I know she won't give up, but she can use help. I'm not religious, but I believe in the power of faith. Right now, every little bit helps.
I've spent the last several days wishing I'd stopped to let her know what her visits meant to me, to make time for those plans we talked about. When I get the chance, the first thing I'll say to her is, "Thank you for caring enough to be you. Thank you for being my friend."
Life is a fickle bitch, and you never know when everything will change. Don't wait to tell your loved ones how you feel, or how thankful you are for them. Don't put off having coffee with that friend, because you can't always do it tomorrow.
Keep Fighting Lexa. You're in my thoughts. Always.
R.S.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
On Understanding True Love
What is True Love?
As an author I ask myself this every time I sit down to tell my characters' stories. The answer, at least for them, is pretty straight forward. In a well crafted story, the heroine will be emotionally strong, and the hero will not be an immature ass. They've got to be human enough to make mistakes, and their trip into love can't be without its ups and down.
The hero, or sometimes the heroine, will show their strength in the others' time of need. They'll show compassion and understanding for each other, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to keep the other happy and safe. Even if that means locking them in a basement, cuffed to the water heater. In all cases, there is an equal give and take, because even in fiction, a relationship can't work if it's unbalanced.
In order for characters to be loved by readers they need to have redeeming qualities, and I haven't met many people who would find a hero who cats around on his lady--or drops her like a bad habit, appealing. Even if he does realize the grass wasn't greener and comes back, metaphoric tail between his legs.
If the heroine takes him back, the readers will lose respect for her, and possibly put down the book. That's not True Love, that's romantic suicide.
Reality is much more complicated.
Love is a crazy and fickle thing. It can be amazing or horrible, but usually it falls somewhere in the middle. The Marine and I have been married for seven years, and I'm the first one to admit it hasn't all been perfect--though according to my therapist it's quite healthy and has every chance of thriving. We've had struggles, and we've made mistakes. We're still learning about each other, and trying to grow together rather than apart while we're separated.
Most of all, our love is real, because even when I feel like I'm running into a wall, and he'll never truly understand me, he helps me to be stronger. When I look at my future, he's the only one who is beside me. Since I've met him, he's the only one whose been there.
Of course, if the Marine hadn't had the characteristics of a hero when we met, or I'd felt insecure or like I was only half of a person, rather than a better, stronger, whole person, I never would have married him. No matter how well his dress blues fit him, and no matter how much I loved him.
Regardless if it's a book or real life, love is supposed to make you stronger. It's supposed to build you up, not break you down. It's suppose to heal your soul, and seal up your insecurities, not break you or make you wonder why you're not good enough.
True Love is strength no matter what. True Love means a deeper connection than hormones and great sex. (Don't get me wrong, those are also very important) True Love is knowing no matter what, you'll be supported, cherished and loved. When you find True Love, it won't come easy, but you won't doubt yourself either. You won't be sad all the time, and even when you're mad, you'll feel safer with them than anywhere else.
Have you experienced True Love? If so, I'd love if you'd share your story.
R.S.
As an author I ask myself this every time I sit down to tell my characters' stories. The answer, at least for them, is pretty straight forward. In a well crafted story, the heroine will be emotionally strong, and the hero will not be an immature ass. They've got to be human enough to make mistakes, and their trip into love can't be without its ups and down.
The hero, or sometimes the heroine, will show their strength in the others' time of need. They'll show compassion and understanding for each other, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to keep the other happy and safe. Even if that means locking them in a basement, cuffed to the water heater. In all cases, there is an equal give and take, because even in fiction, a relationship can't work if it's unbalanced.
In order for characters to be loved by readers they need to have redeeming qualities, and I haven't met many people who would find a hero who cats around on his lady--or drops her like a bad habit, appealing. Even if he does realize the grass wasn't greener and comes back, metaphoric tail between his legs.
If the heroine takes him back, the readers will lose respect for her, and possibly put down the book. That's not True Love, that's romantic suicide.
Reality is much more complicated.
Love is a crazy and fickle thing. It can be amazing or horrible, but usually it falls somewhere in the middle. The Marine and I have been married for seven years, and I'm the first one to admit it hasn't all been perfect--though according to my therapist it's quite healthy and has every chance of thriving. We've had struggles, and we've made mistakes. We're still learning about each other, and trying to grow together rather than apart while we're separated.
Most of all, our love is real, because even when I feel like I'm running into a wall, and he'll never truly understand me, he helps me to be stronger. When I look at my future, he's the only one who is beside me. Since I've met him, he's the only one whose been there.
Of course, if the Marine hadn't had the characteristics of a hero when we met, or I'd felt insecure or like I was only half of a person, rather than a better, stronger, whole person, I never would have married him. No matter how well his dress blues fit him, and no matter how much I loved him.
Regardless if it's a book or real life, love is supposed to make you stronger. It's supposed to build you up, not break you down. It's suppose to heal your soul, and seal up your insecurities, not break you or make you wonder why you're not good enough.
True Love is strength no matter what. True Love means a deeper connection than hormones and great sex. (Don't get me wrong, those are also very important) True Love is knowing no matter what, you'll be supported, cherished and loved. When you find True Love, it won't come easy, but you won't doubt yourself either. You won't be sad all the time, and even when you're mad, you'll feel safer with them than anywhere else.
Have you experienced True Love? If so, I'd love if you'd share your story.
R.S.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
On Hitting Thirty
Last week I hit the big 3-0.
A lot of people worry about leaving their twenties and growing older.
Amazingly, I don't.
Being thirty doesn't feel any different than being twenty-nine did, and twenty-nine didn't feel any different than twenty-seven or twenty-eight.
In fact, being 'older' hasn't meant much to me since I hit 21, and even that didn't have a huge affect on me.
This decade though, is going to be different.
I have great plans for my thirties.
* Publish the wonderful stories running through my head.
* Watch, participate, and enjoy my daughter as she grows up.
* Graduate from college.
* Read amazing novels, both YA and Adult.
* Live life to the fullest and love with all of my heart.
* Take each day as it comes and know if the day didn't go the way I planned there is always another day.
* Be young at heart and always learn from the youth around me.
The people I love and hold dear to me, celebrated in my tiny home in the middle of the desert, and it was great. We played Clue, drank rum and coke, and laughed.
We laughed a lot.
That's what turning thirty is to me.
It's life.
It's experiences.
It's beautiful and wonderful.
And it's me.
I am thirty, and I am happy with that.
What age are you looking forward to or dreading? What was your favorite age? I'd love to know.
R.S.
A lot of people worry about leaving their twenties and growing older.
Amazingly, I don't.
Being thirty doesn't feel any different than being twenty-nine did, and twenty-nine didn't feel any different than twenty-seven or twenty-eight.
In fact, being 'older' hasn't meant much to me since I hit 21, and even that didn't have a huge affect on me.
This decade though, is going to be different.
I have great plans for my thirties.
* Publish the wonderful stories running through my head.
* Watch, participate, and enjoy my daughter as she grows up.
* Graduate from college.
* Read amazing novels, both YA and Adult.
* Live life to the fullest and love with all of my heart.
* Take each day as it comes and know if the day didn't go the way I planned there is always another day.
* Be young at heart and always learn from the youth around me.
The people I love and hold dear to me, celebrated in my tiny home in the middle of the desert, and it was great. We played Clue, drank rum and coke, and laughed.
We laughed a lot.
That's what turning thirty is to me.
It's life.
It's experiences.
It's beautiful and wonderful.
And it's me.
I am thirty, and I am happy with that.
What age are you looking forward to or dreading? What was your favorite age? I'd love to know.
R.S.
Monday, October 3, 2011
On Music in Our Family
Music has always been a huge part of my life.
It's rare that I'll go an entire day without listening to some form of it.
My ring tones are songs.
I randomly burst into made up songs-- like abad horrible amazing musical.
Eat your heart out, Disney.
I listen to music when I share, when I workout, and when I do my hair.
My phone has hundreds of songs on it.
I have an ipod for the car filled with hundreds of songs, and an ipod for when I want to tune the world out.
If none of the music I have fits my mood, I'll go to grooveshark.com and listen to streaming music there.
Sometimes, like when I was pregnant with the Munchkin, I'd watch CMT and GAC--just to hear the music.
Itunes is my Kryptonite.
I'd go as far as to say it's E-V-I-L.
All those songs at my fingertips, just begging me to download them.
*Sigh*
The Niece and I will dance around the house to anything that catches our fancy, and we'll laugh and giggle like loons as the Munchkin mimics us.
It's a happy feeling.
Music has started showing itself in another way in our home.
The Munchkin will randomly break into her own songs, and she'll sing them anytime, any place.
Her favorite venue seems to be the dinner table, but she seems to enjoy the potty equally well.
Maybe it has to do with the acoustics in the bathroom?
Recently, the Munchkin and the Marine had an impromptu jam session in our living room.
Mary Had a Little Lamb seemed to be the favorite.
Some days, I really love my life.
R.S.
It's rare that I'll go an entire day without listening to some form of it.
My ring tones are songs.
I randomly burst into made up songs-- like a
Eat your heart out, Disney.
I listen to music when I share, when I workout, and when I do my hair.
My phone has hundreds of songs on it.
I have an ipod for the car filled with hundreds of songs, and an ipod for when I want to tune the world out.
If none of the music I have fits my mood, I'll go to grooveshark.com and listen to streaming music there.
Sometimes, like when I was pregnant with the Munchkin, I'd watch CMT and GAC--just to hear the music.
Itunes is my Kryptonite.
I'd go as far as to say it's E-V-I-L.
All those songs at my fingertips, just begging me to download them.
*Sigh*
The Niece and I will dance around the house to anything that catches our fancy, and we'll laugh and giggle like loons as the Munchkin mimics us.
It's a happy feeling.
Music has started showing itself in another way in our home.
The Munchkin will randomly break into her own songs, and she'll sing them anytime, any place.
Her favorite venue seems to be the dinner table, but she seems to enjoy the potty equally well.
Maybe it has to do with the acoustics in the bathroom?
Recently, the Munchkin and the Marine had an impromptu jam session in our living room.
Mary Had a Little Lamb seemed to be the favorite.
Some days, I really love my life.
R.S.
Friday, August 26, 2011
On Showing Love Through Technology
Once again my husband, the Marine is away from home.
It's life as usual in our house.
The Niece goes to work, the Munchkin goes to school, King Furry chases his tail and barks at the overweight neighbor dog, and Sumo Kitty hides under the bed.
I of course have scheduled myself for a massage to rid myself some of the additional stress of having the Marine away from home.
Again.
These times, when he's gone away from us and I can't hear his voice or feel him next to me in bed, I'm thankful for technology.
While he's away, my cell is never further away than right beside me--not that it's usually far from me, but when he's gone it's a whole different ball game.
The other day, after dropping the Munchkin at school and the Niece at work I received a text message from the Marine. "Good morning my love. How are you? I love you."
I admit, my heart did a little double thump.
I love that man.
It's nice knowing that while he's 'out there somewhere' doing 'whatever' to 'whomever' he's thinking of me.
What does your spouse, significant other, imaginary friend, do that makes your heart skip a beat?
R.S.
It's life as usual in our house.
The Niece goes to work, the Munchkin goes to school, King Furry chases his tail and barks at the overweight neighbor dog, and Sumo Kitty hides under the bed.
I of course have scheduled myself for a massage to rid myself some of the additional stress of having the Marine away from home.
Again.
These times, when he's gone away from us and I can't hear his voice or feel him next to me in bed, I'm thankful for technology.
While he's away, my cell is never further away than right beside me--not that it's usually far from me, but when he's gone it's a whole different ball game.
The other day, after dropping the Munchkin at school and the Niece at work I received a text message from the Marine. "Good morning my love. How are you? I love you."
I admit, my heart did a little double thump.
I love that man.
What does your spouse, significant other, imaginary friend, do that makes your heart skip a beat?
R.S.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
On the Munchkin and Niece
You can imagine, we have quite a full house--one full of love, understanding, and support.
I'm reminded just how lucky I am every time I see the Munchkin smile.
She loves the Niece, and the feeling is mutual.
The line between cousins has blurred into sisters.
There is a special bond between the two of them. One seldom seen in my life, and knowing is nothing compared to seeing it in action.
The Niece is eighteen, works a full time job, helps around the house, understands when I'm stressed to the breaking point, and willingly spends time with the Munchkin.
If she's too tired to play Dinosaur, or Knights and Dragon--inevitably being the fire breathing dragon, she'll sit at the dining room table and do art projects with the Munchkin.
The other day, they made spiders, because that's what my daughter wanted.
It didn't matter that all the Niece wanted to do was relax and maybe watch some TV, she'd promised to spend time with my daughter, and she did it.
These moments are going to be the happy times the Munchkin remembers when she's a teenager hating the world--and without a doubt her mother.
I'll be remembering them too, and always be grateful to the Niece for loving not only me, but the most important person in my life too.
Was there a special person in your life growing up? Or someone in your child's life? I'd love to know.
R.S.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
On Building the Future
What's tickling my ears? Eminem: Cleaning Out My Closet
There are days when I seriously wonder what the future is going to be.
Not my future, but the future of my child and her peers.
Whitney Houston once sang that she believed our 'children are the future'.
If that is truly the case, shouldn't each parent strive to give their children every possible benefit they'd need to make their, and in turn our, future strong and bright?
Why is it then, so many children go without the proper love and guidance they so desperately want and require?
Why is it harder to get a driver's license than it is to become a parent?
Why are there so many child abusers getting away with bruising their children both physically and mentally?
Why is it still so hard to protect the innocents from the horrors, and traumatic experiences they suffer at the hands of an abusive mother, father or caregiver?
Abuse and neglect come in many forms. You never have to lift a hand to your child to injure them, to beat them. All it takes is casual disregard or negative words, and it can be as damaging as a physical slap.
The worth of a true parent doesn't have to come from what you can buy your child, but from what you give them of yourself.
Your time, patience, love, understanding, and forgiveness.
A true parent puts their child's wants and needs before their own.
Take this story for instance.
"I don't know what to do, Jess. Val's been acting up, not listening, and I'm at the end. I can't deal with it anymore."
Jess sighed. She'd heard this before. "Why don't you let her come here for the summer. She could stay with her uncle and I, and you could have some time to relax."
"It's just too expensive to buy a plane ticket. We can't do that."
She logged onto her laptop and brought up a site specializing in inexpensive flights. "A round trip ticket is only two hundred dollars. I'll cover half, and it won't be so bad. It's what's best for your daughter. She'll have responsibility, and a chance to be away for a while. It won't be a vacation, but you'll both get the space you need."
"No... We can't afford that. She'll just have to get over her attitude. Her father and I are going to buy a new seventy-two inch flat screen, entertainment center, and surround sound soon. It's more important for us to put away that hundred bucks than waste it on a ticket for that ungrateful brat."
Too often parents consider it more important to have the newest, most exciting and expensive toys, than to put that want off until their children were happier, healthier, or safer.
This behavior isn't the only sign of bad parenting.
Bad parenting also appears when you show negativity towards your child. Calling them stupid, or dumb, or worthless--it's abuse, and eventually will have an equally negative affect on the child.
Nobody is a perfect parent, but being a positive role model who puts their children's happiness and well being before their own needs and wants is a good start.
Showing you love them, and making sure you say the words is just as important as providing a roof over their heads, and enough food to nourish their bodies.
I love you.
Three little words.
Powerful. Healing. Empowering.
As long as you truly mean them and back them up with your actions.
Every day I make sure I tell my daughter I love her. I make sure she gets hugs and kisses whenever possible, and no matter what, I never show negative actions towards her. She will never hear anything except loving and positive words from me.
She will get every opportunity to thrive in a happy and loving environment, to become the best she can be. No matter what that is.
I believe my daughter is the future.
I will teach her and let her lead the way.
I will give her all the love she needs to go out on her own and be strong.
She will never have to walk in anyone's shadow.
She will never have to be afraid to talk to me, because she will know she is loved.
Love your children, and teach them how to love themselves and others.
It's the greatest gift of all.
R.S.
**I am not a psychologist, but I am a parent. I may not have a fancy degree, but I know what it feels like to not be shown love...and what it feels like to show it to my daughter.
There are days when I seriously wonder what the future is going to be.
Not my future, but the future of my child and her peers.
Whitney Houston once sang that she believed our 'children are the future'.
If that is truly the case, shouldn't each parent strive to give their children every possible benefit they'd need to make their, and in turn our, future strong and bright?
Why is it then, so many children go without the proper love and guidance they so desperately want and require?
Why is it harder to get a driver's license than it is to become a parent?
Why are there so many child abusers getting away with bruising their children both physically and mentally?
Why is it still so hard to protect the innocents from the horrors, and traumatic experiences they suffer at the hands of an abusive mother, father or caregiver?
Abuse and neglect come in many forms. You never have to lift a hand to your child to injure them, to beat them. All it takes is casual disregard or negative words, and it can be as damaging as a physical slap.The worth of a true parent doesn't have to come from what you can buy your child, but from what you give them of yourself.
Your time, patience, love, understanding, and forgiveness.
A true parent puts their child's wants and needs before their own.
Take this story for instance.
"I don't know what to do, Jess. Val's been acting up, not listening, and I'm at the end. I can't deal with it anymore."
Jess sighed. She'd heard this before. "Why don't you let her come here for the summer. She could stay with her uncle and I, and you could have some time to relax."
"It's just too expensive to buy a plane ticket. We can't do that."
She logged onto her laptop and brought up a site specializing in inexpensive flights. "A round trip ticket is only two hundred dollars. I'll cover half, and it won't be so bad. It's what's best for your daughter. She'll have responsibility, and a chance to be away for a while. It won't be a vacation, but you'll both get the space you need."
"No... We can't afford that. She'll just have to get over her attitude. Her father and I are going to buy a new seventy-two inch flat screen, entertainment center, and surround sound soon. It's more important for us to put away that hundred bucks than waste it on a ticket for that ungrateful brat."
Too often parents consider it more important to have the newest, most exciting and expensive toys, than to put that want off until their children were happier, healthier, or safer.
This behavior isn't the only sign of bad parenting.
Bad parenting also appears when you show negativity towards your child. Calling them stupid, or dumb, or worthless--it's abuse, and eventually will have an equally negative affect on the child.
Nobody is a perfect parent, but being a positive role model who puts their children's happiness and well being before their own needs and wants is a good start.
Showing you love them, and making sure you say the words is just as important as providing a roof over their heads, and enough food to nourish their bodies.
I love you.
Three little words.
Powerful. Healing. Empowering.
As long as you truly mean them and back them up with your actions.
Every day I make sure I tell my daughter I love her. I make sure she gets hugs and kisses whenever possible, and no matter what, I never show negative actions towards her. She will never hear anything except loving and positive words from me.
She will get every opportunity to thrive in a happy and loving environment, to become the best she can be. No matter what that is.
I believe my daughter is the future.
I will teach her and let her lead the way.
I will give her all the love she needs to go out on her own and be strong.
She will never have to walk in anyone's shadow.
She will never have to be afraid to talk to me, because she will know she is loved.
Love your children, and teach them how to love themselves and others.
It's the greatest gift of all.
R.S.
**I am not a psychologist, but I am a parent. I may not have a fancy degree, but I know what it feels like to not be shown love...and what it feels like to show it to my daughter.
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