On Musical Memories

I've finally got a chance to sit at my computer for a few minutes and write a blog. It's been an insanely busy week, and I've fallen behind.

Again.

It's a constant battle.

Anyway, today's topic comes from the book I mentioned here.

Songs can invoke incredibly vivid memories like specific sights or sounds. I thought about writing about a song that reminds me of my seventh grade year, but instead I'd rather focus on my present rather than my past.

The day I decided to start running I'd just dropped the Munchkin off at school and the Niece off at work. Rascal Flatts was playing on the player, because the Munchkin has decided her favorite song is 'Broken Road'.

The sun was shining, the roads practically empty while I waited at the world's longest stoplight. I admit that I tend to zone out, maybe take a mental nap while I wait for the lights out here to change. Especially the ones that make me wait for fifteen minutes when there isn't another car in sight for miles.

When the light changed my mind engaged again, and the first words that registered were these:

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

I turned up the music, rolled down the window and listened to the song that has now become 'my song'. It's the song that runs through my head every day. Every time I feel like sitting on the couch instead of going for that run, I remember the words that touch my soul.

When you get a chance you should listen to "When the Sand Runs Out" by Rascal Flatts. You can find it on YouTube, though you'll have to deal with less than Official videos.

I'm making myself a better person, I'm changing from the inside out every day. I don't know about you, but I want to be running when the sand runs out.

What song hits you today? I'd love to hear.

R.S.

On Valentine's Day

In general I'm not a big fan of Valentine's Day. Even after I was married it never really warmed my heart. After all, aren't we supposed to show how much we love someone EVERY day of the year? It also doesn't help that the last few years, even though I'm married, I've been alone.

Don't people get married so they're NOT alone?

Apparently not.

At least I knew going into my marriage this was the way it would be, and I don't hold it against the Marine. He's doing his job, defending our country--even those people who would rather spit in the face of our military than accept them as human beings.

I love my husband for that, and there's a reason why I'm not in the service. I'm not as understanding of society's flaws.

Good thing he loves me in spite of my flaws.

Today, while my husband is somewhere NOT with me, I will share my love with the Munchkin and the Niece, just like I do every day.

I hope whether you celebrate Valentine's Day or not, you're having an amazing day.

Kiss your loved ones, eat some chocolate, and remember that even if you're single--you're not alone.

What do you think about Valentine's Day? Important or contrived?

I'd love to hear from you.

R.S.

On Strength Even in the Darkness

I recently came across this article , and I'm not ashamed to say it was one of the hardest things for me to read. Pediatric brain tumors hit close to home for me. When the Niece was a toddler, doctors found a tumor hiding out in her Pituitary Gland. It took several years and several doctors before her mother found a doctor who was willing and able to remove it. Some told her it was inoperable, but with a lot of perseverance, the surgery was performed.  

The Niece is eighteen now, and she graduated from High School last June.

When I read articles like this, I am thankful for each and every moment she's been given. She was just a little girl, but she was strong. Much like the little girl in the above article. That little girl faced her future, not focused on the sadness, but on helping others find a cure.

I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to do the same if I were face with the situation.

If you're looking for a cause to support, or just have a few extra dollars before tax time you'd like to rid yourself of, look into local pediatric cancer research centers. Children should get to lead a long, full life. Maybe with time, and enough funding, the children facing grim predictions because of cancer, will get that chance.

Here are a couple of places to start your search.

Pediatric Cancer Research Foundation:   http://www.pcrf-kids.org/

Children's Cancer Research Fund:  http://test.childrenscancer.org/

Rest in Peace, little one.

R.S.



 

On My 2011 Year in Review

Have you ever sat at your computer, or desk with a pad of paper and a pen intent on writing a list of what you've done during the year--only to draw a complete blank? 

Do you see me jumping around waving my hand? Oh yeah, complete brain dump, right here.

I know I've done stuff. 

Probably a lot of 'stuff'. I just can't remember it. 

At least not without help. 

I asked my best friend what I've done this year, she is after all my best friend so she'd have a pretty good idea, right?

Her response: "Worked your ass off."

As true as that is, it wasn't much help. 

She wrote this blog the other day, and I was so impressed with it I wanted to write one myself. 

2011

• Completed P90X
• Got a new tattoo
• Completed two novels
• Started a third
• Completed a short story
• Wrote several pieces of Flash Fiction
• Completed six college classes
• Changed my major
• Welcomed the Marine home from Afghanistan
• Said goodbye to the Marine when he deployed... Again.
• Added the Niece to our home--for a permanent stay.
• Turned 30
• Went to the Living Desert and rode a Camel with the Munchkin.
• Made friends and lost friends who weren't really friends.
• Experienced the Munchkin in her first dance class
• Watched the Munchkin in her first Christmas program
• Found out I had allergies...bad allergies.
• Saw the Lt Dan Band in concert and met Gary Sinise 
• Went to San Diego with my best friend.
• Started doing Zumba
• Started doing Yoga
• Went to Universal Studios, Knotts Berry Farm and Calico Ghost Town.
• Rode on a tram
• Discovered twitter (yes, I'm slow, but you can follow me @rsemeline)

I'm sure there is probably more, but that will have to be enough. 2012 is going to be insane. Really insane. Not to mention great. 

2012 is going to be great.

What did you do in 2011?

R.S. 

On Nanowri...No?

On the first of November I decided to throw my writing hat into the ring of Nanowrimo. This was all well and good, but for a few minor problems.

1. I was scheduled to take an accelerated class throughout the month, and by accelerated I mean cramming an entire semester or quarter or term (depending on the schedule structure of most colleges) into a four week period. This includes writing multiple essays, a research paper, four assignments that included approximately one hundred and four question and equaled around fifty-two pages, and three tests. This doesn't include the nearly five hundred pages I had to read during those four short weeks. *twitch twitch*

2. Thanksgiving. This was the first year I've actually been responsible for an all out Turkey Day meal. Plus, my best friend flew in for the dinner so between writing and spending time with her--I chose her. Okay, her and the firemen and paramedics we took food to. 

3. The Marine was on leave, because he's preparing to deploy. Again. He's going to be gone a long time and miss a lot of things during the next...long time. The Munchkin, Niece, and I wanted to spend as much time with him as we could. After doing homework there wasn't much time left.

Needless to say, I did great for the first twenty days of Nanowrimo. Things started to go down hill on the twenty-first day. My brain was no longer focusing, I was getting surly and snarly at everyone, and I was stressing myself out because as much as I'd like to be some kind of super hero--I'm not. I'm just an average woman who needed to spend time with her loved ones and relax after one of the most grueling classes I've been in.

I made a conscious decision on the twenty-first day of November. Nanowrimo was going to have to try again next year. It just wasn't important enough for me. I made my choices, and decided what was most important to me. This year it wasn't Nano. 

This doesn't mean I didn't write. I did. I also tossed around a few other ideas for stories and articles I'd like to publish. Do I respect those people who stuck it out and succeeded in conquering the beast known as National Novel Writing Month? 

Yes.

Do I especially respect the novelist who managed to beat the beast by writing 50k in two weeks?

Hell yes, I tip my writing hat to you, oh great one.

Do I respect myself for the decision?

Most definitely. Though some people might consider it quitting, or losing. I consider it a move done out of intelligence and respect--not only for myself and my family, but out of respect for the characters I'm so lovingly writing about. They deserve better than my stressed out writings. They deserve my passion and focus. 

So, on this last day of November, my official final word count for Nanowrimo is: 30,184.

Though, if I counted the eight page research paper, the fifty-one pages of questions, and the occasional blogs I'm sure I wrote more than the 50k. 

It's all in how you look at it. 

R.S.

On Music in Our Family

Music has always been a huge part of my life.

It's rare that I'll go an entire day without listening to some form of it.

My ring tones are songs.

I randomly burst into made up songs-- like a bad  horrible amazing musical.

Eat your heart out, Disney.

I listen to music when I share, when I workout, and when I do my hair.

My phone has hundreds of songs on it.

I have an ipod for the car filled with hundreds of songs, and an ipod for when I want to tune the world out.

If none of the music I have fits my mood, I'll go to grooveshark.com and listen to streaming music there.

Sometimes, like when I was pregnant with the Munchkin, I'd watch CMT and GAC--just to hear the music.

Itunes is my Kryptonite.

I'd go as far as to say it's E-V-I-L.

All those songs at my fingertips, just begging me to download them.

*Sigh*

The Niece and I will dance around the house to anything that catches our fancy, and we'll laugh and giggle like loons as the Munchkin mimics us.

It's a happy feeling.

Music has started showing itself in another way in our home.

The Munchkin will randomly break into her own songs, and she'll sing them anytime, any place.

Her favorite venue seems to be the dinner table, but she seems to enjoy the potty equally well.

Maybe it has to do with the acoustics in the bathroom?

Recently, the Munchkin and the Marine had an impromptu jam session in our living room.

Mary Had a Little Lamb seemed to be the favorite.

Some days, I really love my life.


R.S.

On A 'Splash'

On the back of the Wishbone Ranch dressing bottle the directions for use say a 'splash' of the dressing. Unfortunately, they don't define 'splash'.

Since I'm 'big' on following the directions (okay, I'm not really, but let me pretend) I splashed some dressing onto my salad.

Do you realize how messy a splash can become?

Yikes!

Anyway, I splashed the dressing onto my salad and I said to the Niece who was enjoying her own 'splash' of dressing, "A Tsunami is still a splash, right?"

How do you 'splash' your dressing? Do you use just a little, like the spray from the ocean? Are we talking white water rapids kind of a splash, or do you take the figurative bull by the horns and Tsunami splash those leafy greens?

I figure, as long as it's just a splash...


R.S.

On Weekend Fun with Family

This weekend was spent hanging out with my family.

The Marine was home, the Niece worked shorter hours, and the Munchkin was surrounded by love.

Friday night, after a quickly prepared meal, we got the Munchkin ready for bed, did the story thing, and sent the menfolk out to get fixings for smores.

Since we live in an area with an almost continual burn ban, and we don't own a fire pit on legs (though I've thought on more than one occasion to acquire one) we made our melty, marshmallow and chocolaty goodness in the microwave.

It's a rarely known science.

An art, if you will.

We sat around the kitchen table, chatted, laughed, and relaxed while inhaling our weight in sugar.

It was the most fun I've had in a long time, and I'm so glad I got to share it with people who are important to not only myself, but to my daughter.

Here is to many more nights of sugary bonding, and to family--not only of blood, but of the heart as well.


How has your weekend been? Did you do anything fun and exciting--like sky diving, or did you sit home and relax with loved ones?

R.S.

On Pre-Workout Torture

Last weekend the Marine and I took a trip to the local GNC to pick up a 'few' things. A few turned into a lot and I'm pretty sure we are responsible for keeping them in business.

But, I digress.

When the guy sold me my pre-workout muscle igniter he convinced me to avoid the fruit punch in favor of the orange.

I guess they don't sell this particular 'aid' in chocolate flavor.

Keep in mind I *hate* all things 'fruit flavored', especially anything pretending to be orange.

If it didn't come from an orange, then it shouldn't pretend to be orange.

Fast forward to the first day I plan to take the stuff-- and Holy Shit! Not only is it NOT orange flavored, it's not anything remotely digestible.

I tried several different ways of taking it, all with no luck.

I even conned the Niece to try some with me.

We tried to take it as shots.

I drank straight shots of liquor for years without problems.

Even in a shot glass I couldn't manage this, and I was supposed to drink 16 oz?


Turns out they sell a pill form.

We're going to try that.

On Being Strong

Some days I don't feel strong.

I feel weak, like a stiff breeze will knock me over.

This isn't a physical weakness, though compared to the Marine there's no doubt my body is weak in comparison.
It's a mental and emotional weakness, and it surprises me when others don't see it in me. When they think I'm stronger than I see myself.

By no means am I a D.I.D. -- a damsel in distress, but I see myself differently than those who rely on me.

The Marine sees me as strong and capable of running the house, caring for our daughter, getting through college with a high gpa, and making sure our life runs smoothly whether he is home or in some random 'stan country.

The Munchkin sees me as strong because I fix her broken toys, read her stories, make the upset tummy monsters go away, and love her no matter what.

The Niece sees me as strong because I respect her, live my life relatively happily in my skin, and don't fall especially prey to the guilt guns our family often mans with shockingly good aim.

My friends say I'm strong, but really what do they see?

Everyone who knows and loves me believes I'm strong, but what they see is usually just a mask.

Yes, I can survive by myself, provide for myself and my daughter. I'm comfortable alone, and don't need approval.

I make it through months without seeing the Marine, and life continues, but sometimes when the world gets too dark, responsibilities weigh me down, and I'm scraping the bottom of my emotional barrel...

It would be nice if there was someone there to hold out their arms, offer a shoulder, or just say, "It's okay to cry. I won't think you're weak. Sometimes it takes strength to let go."

Because, I seem to keep forgetting that.


R.S.

On Neediness

This is kind of a follow up to my post On Things I Need.

The Niece and I had a  conversation the other day about neediness and how some people show it. We weren't discussing any particular people, but just humans in general.

After all, there are so many of them.

Granted, most of the 'needy' people are women, but that could just be our personal experiences talking.

She and I are both similar. We don't believe in overloading ourselves with 'friends', and we don't have a problem with our friends spending time with people other than us--as long as they don't expect us to do it too.

What we wonder, is what makes other people so needy? Why do they feel like they need to fill their lives with 'friends'. Why do they feel they need to make every online acquaintance their BFF and become friends with every person they've ever come across in passing?

Is filling their lives with these 'friends' completing them in some way? Do they think they'll feel better about themselves if they've suddenly got 13 billion twitter followers or Facebook friends?

Do they get a thrill out of trying to snatch the attention and affection of their friends' friends?

What makes a needy person so... needy?

Did I miss a specific 'needy' gene when I was being created, because I just don't understand it.

Insights?

R.S.

Also, speaking of the "needy gene"...aka Damsel in Distress check out this post.

On Date Night with the Marine

Why, yes, my favorite color is green. How'd you know?

Last weekend when the Niece had off, the Marine and I had a date night. Nothing extravagant--we didn't get dressed up or go to an expensive restaurant.

We went to a movie at the theater on base.

It was the first night in a long time we got to just be together without worries.

The Niece stayed home with the Munchkin, and the Marine and I enjoyed a couple of mindless hours watching Green Lantern.

Have I mentioned how awesome my husband is?

He didn't even complain when I drooled a little.

What could be better than a night with my Marine and Ryan Reynolds in skintight green?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

R.S.

On Showing Love Through Technology

Once again my husband, the Marine is away from home.

It's life as usual in our house.

The Niece goes to work, the Munchkin goes to school, King Furry chases his tail and barks at the overweight neighbor dog, and Sumo Kitty hides under the bed.

I of course have scheduled myself for a massage to rid myself some of the additional stress of having the Marine away from home.

Again.

These times, when he's gone away from us and I can't hear his voice or feel him next to me in bed, I'm thankful for technology.

While he's away, my cell is never further away than right beside me--not that it's usually far from me, but when he's gone it's a whole different ball game.

The other day, after dropping the Munchkin at school and the Niece at work I received a text message from the Marine. "Good morning my love. How are you? I love you."

I admit, my heart did a little double thump.

I love that man.

It's nice knowing that while he's 'out there somewhere' doing 'whatever' to 'whomever' he's thinking of me.

What does your spouse, significant other, imaginary friend, do that makes your heart skip a beat?

R.S.

On the Munchkin and Niece

Not too long ago, the Niece moved in with the Marine, the Munchkin, Sumo Kitty, King Furry, and me. 

You can imagine, we have quite a full house--one full of love, understanding, and support.

I'm reminded just how lucky I am every time I see the Munchkin smile. 

She loves the Niece, and the feeling is mutual. 

The line between cousins has blurred into sisters. 

There is a special bond between the two of them. One seldom seen in my life, and knowing is nothing compared to seeing it in action. 

The Niece is eighteen, works a full time job, helps around the house, understands when I'm stressed to the breaking point, and willingly spends time with the Munchkin. 

If she's too tired to play Dinosaur, or Knights and Dragon--inevitably being the fire breathing dragon, she'll sit at the dining room table and do art projects with the Munchkin. 

The other day, they made spiders, because that's what my daughter wanted. 

It didn't matter that all the Niece wanted to do was relax and maybe watch some TV, she'd promised to spend time with my daughter, and she did it.

These moments are going to be the happy times the Munchkin remembers when she's a teenager hating the world--and without a doubt her mother. 

I'll be remembering them too, and always be grateful to the Niece for loving not only me, but the most important person in my life too.

Was there a special person in your life growing up? Or someone in your child's life? I'd love to know.

R.S.