On: A Letter to a Long Ago Friend

I was thinking about you today, and then pictures of your kiddos popped up on my newsfeed. As a person who hasn't ever particularly thought people's kiddos were cute, I've got to say, you and Andrew have made some gorgeous little ones.

I've missed talking to you, and wish that we could have stayed in better touch. I often wonder how it is that we managed to remain close the whole time we lived on opposite coasts, yet as soon as we're on the same coast our lives seemed to have taken us in different directions.

I realized today I no longer know what you do in your spare time or what interests you. The person who was with me through some of my most difficult experiences in life, I don't know anymore.

I'm sure you're just as amazing as you were then, but I find at times it feels like a piece of me disappeared when we stopped talking. 

I'm happy and healthy, and I have a great life. A life so much better than I ever expected it would be after losing G.

I gave birth to my son just under seven hours before G's ninth birthday. I like to believe one brother helped the other into the world.

I hope your life is as happy as mine, and that your dreams and goals are everything you wished them to be all those years ago.

Maybe someday, we'll be able to catch up again, because even though I've made new friends, great friends, there is always a place in my heart where you belong.

R.S.

On: Reading, Re-evaluating, and Relaxing

As of tomorrow, Boy Wonder will be one month old. It's amazing how quickly they grow and change, and how quickly they grow and change us.

I'm reminded how important my goals, plans, and dreams are, because each and every one of them are for a better life for my little ones. I'm also reminded, daily, that things take time, and I need to be patient.

There are so many things I want to accomplish, and I'm anxious to get started.

 Anxious to get words on paper (or screen).

Anxious to get back to my pre-baby body, again. Hopefully this time it won't take me four years. It shouldn't since I'm only ten pounds shy of my pre-pregnancy weight and still have two weeks before the six week-get-off-my-butt-and-workout date of July 18. I've been doing what I can to start the process. Eating right, walking, and doing daily yoga.

Unfortunately, I'm still not getting as much sleep as I'd like, but that too will change in time.

So far, my routine doesn't involve as much of my goal oriented focus as I would like. Instead it is full of snuggling with my little man, catching up on all the reading I didn't have the mental focus for while I was pregnant, and taking it easy. These are all important things, and I cherish these little moments, because they won't last long. Boy Wonder won't always want to snuggle, or sleep curled up on me.

I have a tendency to stress myself out when I'm not moving toward a goal, so I spend a lot of time telling myself that each day, every snuggle, every nap, is getting me one step closer to where I want to be mentally, physically, and monetarily.

Not to mention, nothing makes me happier than snuggling with Boy Wonder and reading a good book while he softly snores.

Life isn't always simple, but when it is, it's important to enjoy the simplicity.

R.S.

ON: Getting on With Life

Again, I've been a horrible blogger, but I'm not going to apologize this time.

Instead, I'll try and do better.

Boy Wonder is three weeks old today, and we're still trying to get our routine down. Having a newborn is a huge change for me. It's been almost six years since we had a newborn in our home. Everyone has experienced a learning curve this time around.

For some reason, the first time seemed easier.

Maybe, because the first time, I had nothing to compare it to. I didn't know what to expect, and this time I did. Of course, knowing what to expect doesn't mean things are going to go as expected. Every child is different.

Boy Wonder is no exception.

He's gorgeous, and solid. There is no chub on him other than his cheeks, but he's got some serious weight behind him. If he keeps his body style, he'll be perfect for football. Something I don't even want to contemplate.

However, for the first two weeks he had his schedule backwards. Night was day, and day was night. It was miserable for me. In a house full of early birds, having a night owl proved to be complicated and difficult. When he puts his mind to it, BW can sleep like nobody's business.

He's finally figuring out a better schedule.

Now that things on the sleep schedule front are getting better, I have hopes that we'll get a routine down that will allow me to balance all the other responsibilities in my life. Like writing.

I've missed it.

I realized the other day that a novel I'd written two years ago, but never edited or published, has been niggling at my brain again. The characters want their story told. I hope soon, I can make that a reality for them.

There are also other writing projects I've been sitting on for a while. Some I actually made a little progress on during my maternity sabbatical.

My plan was to have them published before the new year. I'm honest enough with myself to say that is highly unlikely. Getting pregnant and having a baby tend to put a crimp in plans and New Years Goals. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to hit any of those goals mentioned here. Good thing, I'm flexible. That's the thing about goals. They don't go away just because the date changes.

What has been going on in your lives? I'd love to know.

R.S.

On: Life in the Baby Making Lane

Things are a lot different this time around than they were when I was carrying the Munchkin. I don't have half as much time to lounge around and do nothing. I haven't decided if this is a blessing or a curse. Most likely it is both.

I'm starting to make lists for the Belly Munchkin's arrival. Whether I'll actually ever manage to check anything off those lists is yet to be seen. I have however, been able to squeeze some time in for weekly yoga. Not as much as I managed before I started carrying around an additional person, but at least it is still something. I've also recently started attending an prenatal aqua-fitness class designed specifically for my friend and I by the director and assistant director of the pool I worked at pre-pregnancy.

It's been nice getting back into the water, even if that meant finding a swimsuit to fit around my expanding middle. I guess, out here in the middle of the desert, near a military base where the number one past time seems to be procreating, they don't actually find it necessary to offer maternity anything. I guess they just expect those women who often times jump from pregnancy to pregnancy to walk around naked while they're gestating.

That's a thought for another day, I'm sure.

I've got the goal of producing two books this year, and I haven't really started working on anything at all, because I seem to only have the ability to power one brain at a time, and since growing a brain is very important, my thoughts have been jumbled and not wholly useful in the world of my writing career. I've been tossing around ideas, and some how I know everything will find a way of working out.

I would love to hear what is going on in my dear readers' lives.

R.S.

On: Moments of Growing

Today, the Munchkin got a little bit bigger, a little older. Yes, this happens each and every day, but today was different. Today she moved out of her toddler bed and into a big girl bed. A bright shiny bunk bed with full sized futon as the bottom bed.

She loves it.

The Marine and I realized we had to do this, not only because she is getting taller by the day, but because in a few months we'll be welcoming the newest member of our family. The Belly Munchkin, and he is going to need the toddler bed transformed back into a crib.

Each day brings changes and moments of growing. Not just for the children in our lives, but for us as well. Each day brings the birth of our son that much closer. While it's still several months away, those months will fly by. Taken up with daily life, school, crafts, and living. This pregnancy has already flown by in a way I wasn't prepared for.

Guess I better start preparing. :)

R.S.

On: Valentines Day

We don't really celebrate Valentine's Day in our house. Instead, we focus on showing love each and every day. We're not big into the heart shaped boxes of chocolate, or the bouquet of roses. We are into spending as much quality time together as we can.

Guess that explains my lack of writing recently.

So, what are your plans for today?  Roses, chocolate, bottles of bubbly?  I'd love to know.

R.S

On: My Anniversary

February 5th marked eight years since the Marine and I tied the knot. Of those eight years, we were together to celebrate our anniversary only twice. Including this year. Being married to a Marine makes for some lonely holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries, but you know what else it does? It makes you appreciate those rare moments you're actually together.

This year, the Marine and I went to a Japanese steakhouse (where I actually used chopsticks to eat the entire meal!) to celebrate the momentous occasion--you know having made it through eight years without blood shed--and had an amazing and wonderful time. Aside from the crazy traffic, and my uncanny ability to hit every red light between here and there. It was nice to spend time with my husband, without worrying about entertaining the Munchkin the entire time. I can also admit, it was the first time in forever I've gotten a chance to dress up. I even wore a pair of strappy heels.

Spending my anniversary with the father of my children was made all the more amazing by the kindness of strangers. We shared our table with an older couple who came to the U.S. before the Korean War. The gentleman served in the Royal Air Force, and then again served in our military as well. They had wonderful stories about their lives and their children. At the end of the meal, they did something we weren't expecting, and had nothing to do with our anniversary, but everything to do with the Marine's service to our country. They bought us dinner.

I'm not even ashamed to say I choked up.

It was a wonderful night, and I won't ever forget the kindness of strangers who shared a common bond. Military service and patriotism.

What is your favorite anniversary memory?

R.S.

On: New Year, New Goals, New Plans

Everyone seems to make resolutions at the beginning of each new year. I've never been good with resolutions.

I'm much better with the word goals. Goals seem to be something solid. Something you can make legitimate plans for.

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm happiest when there is a plan of action in place.

Gone are the days when flying by the seat of my pants was the way to go. Anymore, the thought of that makes me a little queasy and ready to run for the hills.

I think I'm getting old.

Being pregnant doesn't help that either, especially when I have to hit the restroom every 45 minutes without fail. My bladder has shrunk to the size of a pea. Possibly a dehydrated baby pea.

Anyway, onto the Goals for the 2013 year.

• Blog at least once every week, on Fridays.
• Become more active in promoting my blog, and connecting with others through social media.
• Write one piece of Flash Fiction each month.
• Self-publish two more works. Either novels or short stories.
• Give birth to a happy and healthy baby.
• Return to my everyday yoga practice.
• Finish my yoga instructor training (the one that got postponed due to pregnancy)
• Keep positive reminders around me, so when I feel down or dark I can remember the good.
• Snuggle with my children as often as possible.
• Take time for myself.
• Make time for at least one date night a month (when the Marine is home).
• Be the best version of me I can be.

  Make 2013 your year. I know I will.

 What are your goals and plans for the New Year? I'd love to hear. 

R.S.

On: The End of Another Year

Hello Wonderful Readers!

Another year is about to close, and I can't help but reflect on all that has come to pass in the last twelve months.

• Purrfect Storm, my short story was published in March.
• Murphy's Law, my first novel was published in July.
• My sister and I created a small craft business in January.
• I went through training and worked 40 hours a week as a Lifeguard in June. 
• The Munchkin began Kindergarten in August, and I'm constantly surprised how smart she is.
• In June, the Marine returned to my little family from his deployment to Japan.
• April had me in Maui, Hawaii where I kayaked four miles through open ocean to watch whales. 
• Just before my birthday in October, I found out the Marine and I would be expanding our family little family.

 There have, of course, been trying moments within the year, but overall, the year has been amazing and happy. I look forward to what this next year will bring to my life. The trials, the happiness, and the new experiences. 

 How was your 2012, and what are you looking forward to in the New Year? 

 I'd love to know. 

 R.S.

On the Quiet of Morning

It isn't often I get to enjoy the quiet calm of morning. The Munchkin is a big fan of waking up before the sun, and since even as a morning person, I believe in waking up WITH the sun--NEVER before it-- the early morning quiet is a thing of rare beauty for me.

This morning the Munchkin woke up at 0530, but miracle or miracles, she fell back to sleep, and I've been able to enjoy a few solitary moments of quiet before the rush of the day begins. I know it is short lived, because I can hear her shifting and waking in her room, but those few moments of silence, of calm, has done wonders to recharge my weary, tired body.

What is your favorite time of the day? Do you enjoy the early mornings or the late nights, or are you the rare breed of mid-day lover? Please share.

R.S.

On Rest in Paradise, Lexa

Yesterday, my dear friend, Lexa passed away after a nine day battle with an aneurysm. She was an amazing person, and had her whole life ahead of her.

She was Fifteen.

What makes things like this happens?

Why are the young, vibrant, good, and loving, so often taken from us, while the abusive, murderous criminals are given long lives?

Someone once told me, "Some souls are too good, too pure for the evil of this world."

I'd have to agree.

Her death has hit me hard, has made me re-evaluate life, but I'll be honest. Right now, I'm too angry to take solace in those re-evaluations. I'm too angry to remember the good times, the positives. I'm too angry to be thankful she is no longer in pain.

I'm angry she's gone. I'm angry this happened to her, and that she'll never laugh again, or show such excitement when she's able to hold a handstand. I'm angry the doctors couldn't do anything, and that I never got to say goodbye. I'm angry her parents had to go through this, had to lose their child.

I'm angry, because it isn't fair.

Life isn't fair.

I'm angry the sympathy vultures have come out. The people who couldn't be bothered with her in life are suddenly so "sorry" she's gone. They post their 'love' for her in every public forum, and are the first to seek out grief counselors at her school. They want to make themselves feel better, look better, and get the attention they feel they deserve, for having known Lexa.

They didn't care about her, they didn't take time to get to know her. They didn't laugh with her, talk about dreams, fears, and goals. And now they can't.

Everyone grieves differently.

Some people go about life like nothing has changed, because if they don't, they'll crumble into a ball.

Some people think 'that's life' and move on.

I hold my grief tight and feel every bit of the emotion. It colors my life. It will always color my life, though each day the colors will change.

Lexa isn't the first person who touched my life and was taken too soon, and she won't be the last, because, life isn't fair.

One day, I'll be able to be thankful for the positives, not cry, but smile when I think of her. That day isn't today.

Today, I mourn for the young girl who told me I was her big sister, and that she loved me even when I was grouchy. I mourn for the girl who strutted her stuff, because she was beautiful, and I mourn for the girl who was also oblivious to the guys who watched her.

Today, I mourn for Lexa, may she rest in Paradise, where her love and beauty can shine on the world without pain, without hurt, and without judgment.

Rest in Paradise, Lexa. Until we Merry Meet Again.


R.S.

On Lexa

Life is a fickle bitch. 

One day you could have the whole world in the palm of your hand, and the next, everything could be tossed around you like broken rag dolls. 

As anyone who has read this blog knows, I spent the last several months as a lifeguard. During that time, I met an amazing, vibrant, beautiful and caring, young girl. She is on Varsity Swim Team and Varsity Cheer. She came in early to swim laps, even though usually she ended up keeping me company in the early morning hours. 

She is only fifteen.

She made me smile every day.

She made me laugh, and she made me shake my head. 

She reminded me what it was like to be a teenager, and she would ask my advice on what to do to get away from the drama of being a teenager.

I spoke with her the other day, through Facebook. Just small talk about working out, getting in shape, and craziness of life. 

That was at 4 PM.

The next evening I found out she was in the hospital. She'd suffered a brain aneurysm. 

This beautiful girl, with her big smile and laughing eyes isn't visiting the pool anymore. She's fighting for her life in a hospital, attached to a ventilator. 

She is strong and a fighter, and I know she won't give up, but she can use help. I'm not religious, but I believe in the power of faith. Right now, every little bit helps. 

I've spent the last several days wishing I'd stopped to let her know what her visits meant to me, to make time for those plans we talked about. When I get the chance, the first thing I'll say to her is, "Thank you for caring enough to be you. Thank you for being my friend." 

Life is a fickle bitch, and you never know when everything will change. Don't wait to tell your loved ones how you feel, or how thankful you are for them. Don't put off having coffee with that friend, because you can't always do it tomorrow.

Keep Fighting Lexa. You're in my thoughts. Always.

R.S.

On Returning To the Real World After An Extended Absence

I'm baaaaack!

Please, please, no need for applause. ;)

After four long and exhausting months, I'm finally back and ready to get down to the busy and sometimes lonely business of writing. I've had characters and plots poking and prodding me for months now, and finally I'll have the time to do something about it.

As of today, I am no longer employed by someone other than myself. The experience of being a lifeguard, while rewarding and enlightening (not to mention physically active), just isn't what my life needs at this time.  I made the decision to step away from the poolside after many days of introspection, and weighing the pros and cons.

I made a few amazing friends and a bunch of pretty cool acquaintances. There are people I'll miss deeply, and some I'll never think of again. The last few months have been an educational experience, and the changes I've made in myself and my surroundings will continue to show throughout my life.

There are many reasons I chose now to go back to my quiet and mostly orderly world. I'd made the cut and had been kept on for the winter, and yet I have chosen to leave. Some of those reasons are easy to understand, some I will share at a later time, and some reasons will never be known by anyone but me.

While lifeguarding filled a void in me I hadn't realized was there, it was never my passion the way writing is. Though I love physical fitness, and in the next couple of years will realize my dream to become a personal trainer, it isn't the focus I need right now.

I need to focus on my family. On the Marine who should be getting orders to who knows where, shortly. On the Munchkin who is experiencing new things every day. I want to be there with her, I want to be awake enough to help her with homework, to make her lunch, and to spend quality time with her more than just two days a week.

I need to focus on R.S. Emeline, Author. She's been sorely neglected, and I'm afraid to see what damage my absence has done to that part of my life.

I need to just Breathe.

Something I forget to do sometimes.

So, starting today, I'm breathing life back into myself. I'm taking the bull by the horns, and I'm jumping back into the saddle (and any other quaint phrases you can think of). It's time to let those stories out, to refresh my blog, to make new friends and network again.

It's time to get back to me.

R.S.

On the Release of Murphy's Law

Today is the day!

That's right, my newest fictional baby is officially available, and I couldn't be happier. So, take a few minutes and make an author very, very happy.  :)

Buy me here!

Alexis MacGuire is just like other college students. She goes to class, eats pizza, and holds down a job. The difference is, her job could get her killed.
As the unluckiest member of a family of elite assassins, she spends her spare time jetting from one country to another neutralizing scum the government doesn’t want to be attached to--often in unconventional and unplanned ways.
When she receives an email exposing the secrets of her last job she enters into a game of cat and mouse with someone known only as the Hunter. With the help of her brother, her best friend, and an FBI agent who makes her heart skip beats, she must find the Hunter before he destroys everything and everyone she loves.


R.S.              

On the Editing Cave

I finally did it. I made myself finish the corrections from the first round edits of my novel. Since it was the first novel I ever wrote, but never got around to editing, there were a lot of corrections to be made. I'd done half of it a while back, but then lost the motivation to continue on with it.

Change was needed.

So, I packed up my car and headed off to the beautiful Welk's Resort in San Diego, where I spent the next 48 hours alone with my novel. It was a dirty job, but someone (and that would be me, since nobody else wanted to do it) had to do it.

My editing cave was beautiful, and spacious, and a little too quite. I haven't been truly alone in almost five years. It's amazing how the exclusion of the Munchkin was such a huge thing. There were times I thought about going home, and other times I thought about running off to play in the pool, or go to a wine tasting, or walk in lavender fields, but I didn't.

At 0800 on Saturday, the final (first) corrections were made.

A weight was lifted from my shoulders, and I was glad I'd skipped out on going home or wasted time doing something else.

I'd given myself a deadline--to get it to the editor before the Marine returned from deployment, and I made it. Barely.

As long as everything goes okay, and my editor doesn't tell me the novel is complete and total crap, expect to see it available this summer.

What did you do this weekend? I'd love to hear about it. The person with the funniest comment will win awesome 'swag' available only from the online shop, Sprites Cubed.  I'll post pictures of those awesome gifts soon.

R.S.

On the Melting Pot in Maui

The second night on Maui, after I acquired a sunburn and nearly drowned on the sailboat adventure, my BFF and I decided to enjoy a leisurely dinner at the Melting Pot.

She and I were still stuck on PST, and dinner was running late. We'd slipped from wanting to pass out at the table, to laughing uncontrollably. It didn't help that the first slice of apple I dipped in the cheese sauce flew off my fork and slid across the table directly at her.

"Fondu-me fighting apples" was born.

 We laughed more together than I can remember laughing in years. We entertained our server with jokes and stories of our adventures and life in general, and strolled out of there full and happy. Plus I had a trunk full of books from the Barnes and Noble next door. ;)

It was an amazing night all around.

Do you have any stories of a dinner out with friends? I'd love to hear about it.

R.S.



   

On the Secret Circle

Back in 1992 L.J. Smith wrote the first novel in the Secret Circle series. I only read the first book recently when I rediscovered the series because of the new show on the CW.

I read all four of the novels in two days, and loved every minute of it. About the time Diana was introduced with her sunlight and moonlight hair, I realized I'd read it before.

Then again, I've read so many books I can't remember half the titles, and the descriptions are so generic most of the time I couldn't tell from them either.

Now, am I the only one surprised a series written in the 90's is just now becoming a television series?

Granted, aside from the title, the names and the fact the characters are witches, the show is nothing like the books. (In fact, half of the characters aren't even in the show).

I've come to expect this from Hollywood.

Shows and movies are rarely like the amazing novels they were adapted from.


Okay, those fans of Janet Evanovich and the Stephanie Plum series might point out that the movie rights for One for the Money were purchased in the 90's when the novel first came out, and the movie is just now-- kind of-- coming into 'life'.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I know.

R.S, why should it be any different with television shows?

Uh, maybe because it's television?

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the show for what it is.

A teen drama full of angst, stupidity, and sex. It is the CW after all. It's like Buffy without the Vampires or the kickass slayer abilities.

** Side note** If you've seen the show, did you notice each episode seems to begin with the same two people in bed together? 


What books or series of books have you read that you'd like turned into movies or shows, or wish hadn't been touched by the hands of Hollywood? When it comes to the screen play, where does creative license end and butchering begin?

R.S.

On Flash Friday: She Was Loved

It's "Flash" Friday.

She Was Loved

Her laugh broke the silence two breaths before she burst through the French doors of my studio. I placed the oil pastels out of her reach, and cleared my mind of anything but the spritely little girl vibrating with excitement in front of me.

"Daddy! Daddy! Guess what?" Her blue eyes, so much like her mother's, sparkled from beneath impossibly long golden lashes.

"You just won the lottery and are going to take care of me for the rest of my life?" I asked, tugging on one unruly flaxen curl that had escaped its pigtail.

She giggled again. "No, Daddy. You're silly. I don't even know what the lottery is."

I tapped one forefinger on the cleft of my chin. "Okay, you didn't win the lottery. That means you must have gotten your driver's license."

"No, Daddy!" Her giggle warmed my heart and filled the places so often empty.

I threw up my hands in mock frustration. "I don't know then. What?"

"I saw Momma."

My heart shattered like crystal against stone. "Sweetheart--"

"Don't worry, Daddy. I know she's an Angel watching over us." My little girl, a miniature version of my late wife, wrapped her arms around my legs and squeezed. "She's very beautiful, Daddy, and she wanted me to tell you it didn't hurt, and she loves us very much."

Words wouldn't form so I squatted down, wrapped my arms around what was left of my heart and pulled her against my chest. I missed my wife every day, and cursed the drunk driver who'd taken her from us, but because of the little girl in my arms, she'd never truly be gone.

Maybe she was an Angel. 

Maybe just a memory.

All I knew was, she was loved.

    

©Copyright R.S. Emeline 2011 All Rights Reserved.

On Keeping the Music Playing

What's my muse right now? "In Orbit" by Derek Flynn.




Music has always been a part of my day. At least since I received my first boombox and disc man with the cables to connect them together.

I still remember that Christmas, and the two CD's I unwrapped from my sisters.

Amy Grant: Heart in Motion and Wilson Phillips. 


Though I can't recall a particular instance where a specific song or lyric changed my course in life, like "Wall of Death" did for Derek Flynn. (You can read about it on his blog, Rant, with Occasional Music.) It has gotten me through everything I've experienced in life.

Much like Ally McBeal, I've always heard a soundtrack playing in my head as I move through each day.

Like everything else about me, there is little rhyme or reason to the style of music.

It's eclectic.

Sometimes I'll be country--usually, I'm country. Once in a while I'll be rap, but that is a rare, rare moment. For a series of years between junior high and high school when I was my angriest I listened to nothing but grunge, alternative, and hardcore rock.

I looked just like every other teen trying to be unique (only I really was, because I was a natural redhead--and I hated it more than anything.) with my baggy ripped pants, sloppy graphic tees, and worn Vans.  It didn't matter that I couldn't skateboard and had no desire to learn.

My style reflected who I was and what I felt.

Did I mention I was angry?

There was a period of time during my mid twenties where the only music I listened to was music found in clubs and bars. Normally that listening was accompanied by dancing and drinking into the wee hours of the morning. Luckily, I survived them with little damage to my internal organs, my body, or my life itself.

Even today, years after I left the party scene my heartbeat accelerates and I get the urge to shake my ass and hips whenever the songs I clung to during those times come on. Sometimes, the scent of fast flowing alcohol and cologne covered sweat seems to waft from the speakers.

I'm pretty sure it's just my imagination--my sensory memory--kicking in.

Or my stereo is secretly scratch and sniff.

That could be interesting, but couldn't it smell like something more tasty? Maybe chocolate cake or cookies?

Regardless of what music tickles my fancy at any given time, it's always there.

A part of me.

As long as there is music playing, life will continue and nothing will be impossible.

So, DJ, keep that music playing.

Are there particular songs or types of music that help you get through things in life? Or changed your life?

I'd love to hear about it.

R.S.

On a Guest Post From Melanie Macek

First, I want to thank RS Emeline for the opportunity to guest blog. Thanks! I’ve only been blogging for approximately three months, so this is still new for me.

Left to choose my own topic, I was lost. So many things I wanted to talk about with you all. What tipped the scales was a Facebook conversation with my cousin’s husband, who is also an aspiring writing. He sent me a quote about internal editors. And since I’m working on an extensive edit of my manuscript, the topic seemed fitting.

I didn’t even know I had an internal editor until I participated in NaNoWriMo for the first time last year. A motivational video from the great people that run the organization told us to tie up our editors, put them in a corner and kick them if we must; but whatever you do, don’t listen to them and just write.

HA! I said to myself. Just write. Easy for them. There was no possible way anything decent was going to come out of my brain, pass through my fingertips and onto the screen. Once I finally let go of my self-doubts and reservations (somewhere around day 9), magic happened.

I just wrote. I wrote furiously. I wrote until my eyes crossed, my head pounded and there was no possible way to get a decent 5 hours of sleep before work the next day. 

My husband now dreads the month of November because he knows I will be glued to my computer, furiously pounding away on the keys and spending, as he says, his hard earned money on enough caffeine to get me through the month. 

Chocolate or coffee work equally well. Hot chocolate, even better.

So why, do you ask, is this important? Because all of us face some sort of detractor, an editor of sorts trying to conform our dream to their mold. Whether it be ourselves, a family member, co-workers or even some random person; we can’t let them “edit” us away from our desire.

If your desire is to write, then write. Even if you write on a napkin during your lunch break. Tuck it into your pocket or purse and save that idea for later. Just don’t forget to take it out of your pocket before the clothes hit the washer, though.

Over the last nine months, I’ve found it easier to let go and write. One thing that helped was I owned the tag, writer.

When someone asks if I’m published (as if not being published doesn’t make you a writer), I answer “not yet”. Because I will be. Maybe not as soon as I would like or how I anticipate, but it's a goal.

 Is that the only reason I write? Nope. Once I let go and took myself seriously as a writer, it has become my passion. There’s really no stopping it now.

To all of you aspiring toward your dreams; turn off the internal and external editors. You might be amazed at the results.

Thanks again, RS Emeline for letting me sit in on your blog today. I’ve enjoyed it.

Melanie

Melanie Macek is an active member of Romance Writers of America. She recently completed her creative writing degree and is actively pursuing being published, though love of writing is the driving force to write. Secretary by day; at night, she can be found at the keyboard when not spending time with her husband planning their next vacation (great book ideas everywhere!) 

You can contact her on her blog at www.featherpenstartandreams.wordpress.com and on Twitter @MelDFMac