Take Two: 250 Word Submission

After re-evaluating the first 250 words, and taking into account the suggestions of others (thanks, by the way), here is the first 250 words of my first complete ('Complete' being subjective. It is after all, the first draft and in no way the final version of the story) YA novel.

Immortalis

Genre/Word Count: YA/40,000

October 18, 1992       

            The baby's hair was a soft smattering of auburn silk. Her tiny hand wrapped around his finger; held it in its grip, and he knew he would live and die for her. Power ran through him, warm and fluid.  

            "She's your responsibility now." With a light heart the mother gently placed the child in the man's arms. He was hardly older than a child, but his Destiny was to accompany the girl through every stage of her life.

            "She is mine, and I am her Guardian." His eyes never left the child now sleeping in his arms. The connection was instantaneous. His power knew her, accepted her, covered her, and would protect her. It might be in him, but it belonged to the tiny child he held.  "I will keep her safe. I accept my Destiny." A bright aura of blue surrounded them, and power sizzled through the air, sealing the pact. His eyes never left the face of the newborn, as he lightly traced her mouth with his thumb. "What is her name?"

            "Deliah." The mother said, a smile laced with exhaustion curved her lips.

            "Hello, Deliah. My name is Cian, and I give my life to you."

            The mother reached for her husband's hand, twining their fingers together. With a smile she looked at the Guardian in front of them and relaxed back against the pillows of her hospital bed. Her husband squeezed her hand and said, "Welcome to our family Cian Rion."