On 'Skinny-Fat'

The other day I heard the term 'Skinny-Fat', and my understanding of it from verbal and visual cues, was not flattering.

Now, take a second to read the Urban Dictionary's definitions here.

You're back?

Good.

In a society where we're so consumed with the battle of which is better, 'thick or thin', it is demoralizing to realize even being 'thin' isn't quite good enough for those people who think anorexia is a perfectly good fitness routine.

I've had a pretty strict workout routine for the last two years, that has involved P90x, kickboxing, Zumba, and most recently, yoga and running. Because of this, I've got well toned arms and legs, and to my happiness- a butt is finally forming. However, I'm thirty years old and have a child who was damn near two feet long when she was born. I've never been fat, and I'm nowhere near it now, but based off this I could be viewed as 'skinny-fat', because my stomach isn't as toned and flat as someone younger or more athletic, though it's better than it ever has been. It never will be as flat as Miranda Kerr's, and that is something I've accepted.

If this has affected me this way, I can imagine how it would affect other women. Especially one who isn't as self-confident as I usually am. Is there no end to the emotional depravity men and woman will foist on each other when it comes to fitness and size?

It makes me very, very happy I am not out in the dating game. With knowledge like this, I'd probably never leave my house. It was bad enough ten years ago--a time before social networking had such a huge impact on our everyday lives. Before Twitter was king, and youtube could make you famous. Now it's amazing anyone actually dates, because surely nobody can match up to the unusually high standards even the lowest pond scum, drunken twenty-one year old seems to have.

Knowing all this, I couldn't be more grateful the Marine never acted like this, and actually treated women with respect--even though it made life with his co-workers more difficult.

What are your thoughts?

R.S.

On Battling the Bulge

Now this is dedication. I typed this entire blog on my phone. :) Whoa! Talk about thumb cramps! Anyway, onward with the blog!






While in High School I maintained a steady weight of 140 pounds. This wasn't a point of pride, or really even a concern for me. I just didn't think about it. At all.

I'd never had a tight flat stomach like so many of the girls. Mine had always rounded just a little at the bottom-- which for some reason I don't understand, many guys find sexy, my husband leading that race.

Not horrible by healthy standards, but I definitely didn't seem to have the body of a teenager.

Several years later, after my first pregnancy, that ended in the birth of an Angel no longer with us, I hit my lowest weight since puberty.

125 pounds.

This weight probably had more to do with what I wasn't eating, and what I was drinking--heavily and often-- than it did with any sort of weightloss plan or exercise regimen.

That however, is a story for a much later time.

After the birth of my daughter in October 2007, I weighed 135 pounds, a point of happiness for me considering my previously fluctuating weight.

Who knew being recently married, never seeing your new husband, and living in Hawaii almost completely alone could cause weight gain?

I know now...and so do you, kind reader.

Ah, I digress...

Six wonderful weeks after having my daughter, and enjoying the lowest weight I'd been since meeting my husband, I went on birth control--and promptly started packing on weight like I was a whale prepping for a cold spell.

I did everything I could to lose the weight.
The more I dieted, and the more I worked out, the more weight I gained.

When I hit 166 pounds on a 5'5" body, I knew something needed to change.

The birth control went away, I started drinking  Slim Fast shakes and watching my calorie intake. From October 2009 to December of that same year, I lost thirty pounds, and kept it off.

Unfortunately, happiness is seldom long lasting or guaranteed. Though I didn't gain anymore weight, I realized I wasn't where I wanted to be--physically or mentally.

My husband deployed in October of 2010, and while he was gone I used the pent up frustration to fuel my body shaping needs.

I worked out everyday, and still watched my calories-- a habit I've found is incredibly hard to break once you get into it. When he returned seven months later, I weighed the lowest my body can weigh and remain healthy. The look on his face when he saw me was priceless... and it didn't hurt that some of his first words after, "I love you," were "you're so tiny, I'm afraid to break you."

Since his return my weight has fluctuated between 128 and 134. By no means am I fat, but sometimes there is an eating disorder just lurking about waiting to hit me. It's a horrible feeling, and a scary realization.

Right now, my niece and I are doing P90X, not because we need to lose weight, but because we want to tone up.

We just finished our third week, and we are noticing changes in our arms, legs, and our butts.

Yes, for those who have known me my whole life, I am finally getting a butt. I can hear your gasps through the internet...my hearing is that good.

There is still quite a few long, hard, workout intense weeks ahead, and I'm sure there will be other noticeable results, or at least there better be dammit.

The thing is, physical fitness and being happy with yourself are not mutually exclusive, and not a one shot deal.
As a person gets older, their bodies change, and things start shifting and bulging.

It's life. It's natural, and it sucks.

You have to do what is right for your lifestyle, what is best for you, both mentally and physically.

Overall, be happy with yourself.

Don't be concerned (like I am) with every minor weight fluctuation.

Don't worry that you're not as skinny as actress XXX. Chances are she just came out of rehab for another eating disorder. 

Speak to a doctor, and do what is safe and healthy for your body.

Trust me when I say, it doesn't matter how skinny you are, what size pants you wear, or how much you weigh-- if your body gives out from a lack of proper nutrition.

That is, unless you're trying to be the sexiest corpse around.


What has your weightloss journey been like? What worked for you? What didn't?


R.S.