Thursday, September 22, 2011

On Borrowing From Your Children

Maybe it was the way I was raised-- though I don't remember seeing any awards for parent of the year on shelves in the house while growing up, but I have the strange belief that parents are supposed to protect, educated, guide, and help their children.
Not the other way around. 

In our home, and even in the home I grew up in, the parents NEVER borrowed from the children. It just wasn't done. 

For instance, there were times while growing up that money was undoubtedly tight, but my parents NEVER came to us and said, 'gee, could we bum a couple of bucks--just until payday?' In my house, the Marine and I would never dream of going to the Munchkin and borrowing money from her.

Granted, she's not yet four, but she's got a college savings plan and a savings account that has more money in it than most Marines, and they're supposed to be adults. 

Have there been times where access to a couple of grand would have been nice? Could we have used it and then replaced it later? 


If we weren't who we are.

That money is our daughter's. Not ours.

Every year the money we get from the child income tax credit goes straight into her college fund. We do not touch it.


The way we see it is, without her we wouldn't have that money so it should go to her. She's in theory earned it for putting up with us for a year. 

Not everyone agrees with me on this.

I won't steal borrow money from my child's future just because I didn't plan well enough for myself. The Marine and I decided that long before we ever had children. 

We might not be perfect people, or perfect parents, but our daughter will have opportunities our families didn't give to us.

If nothing else, the Munchkin will be able to say, "my parents never did THAT." 

It's something, right?

Do you have any experiences with this? What are your thoughts?




  1. Amen. It's good to know there are people out there who were raised right. Why should there be people proud of "Spending Their Grandchildren's Inheritance." (I Know- Pikers compared to the Federal Government. I think they're up to multiple greats now.)

  2. Christopher,

    That's an expression that has always bothered me. It's nice to see I'm not alone in my opinion of this. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.


  3. Money and different generations. In reality, my parents sometimes helped but they didn't stay together with each other and thereby let each other be but did not set a great example of how to get along with the kids' other parent. As a grown woman I have learned about not sharing money and about sharing money. I think its OK for you to handle it the way that you are, and I had a different experience as a young grown woman where a teen did help his parents and they helped him. It seemed to work for them. For me, simply having intergenerational trust and communication about money is a major things in and of itself. Instead of it being top secret or the kids are just out to exploit their parents or the parents abusing their own offspring. Weird. Good issue though.