I was recently told a story. A man and a woman had been married for fifty years. Since retirement they always had lunch together. As the man sets the woman’s sandwich in front of her she bursts into tears. Baffled her husband asks what is wrong. She sobs, “Why do you always give me the heels?” Stunned he replies, “Because they’re my favorite.”
All those years, he had been giving her what he considered to be the best part of the bread, sharing his favorite part with her. In a world so incredibly full of selfish behavior we often assume the worst of people.
Assumptions are easy to make and can be so damaging. There is a reason expressions like, “assume – makes an ass out of you and me” and “assumption – the mother of all eff-ups,” exist.
I think the biggest and worst assumptions happen in relationships.
· Does your husband work hard to support your family? Do you tell him how much you appreciate it? Or just complain about how little he helps with the kids/pets/house?· Do you think your wife/girlfriend is beautiful? Do you tell her? Or just assume she knows?
· Do you have a friend who is always there for you? Who is interested in the things you do and how you’re feeling? Are you there for her in return? Does she know how valuable she is to you?
· Are you proud of your child’s accomplishments? Do you give them specific reasons? Or only a cursory “proud of you son?”
· Do your parents run you around for soccer games, music, and to see your friends? Do you tell them thank you and mean it? Or do you think it’s “their job?”
The saying, “there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving,” is true until the time you’ve given all you have to give. Even the most altruistic person does not give for nothing. They’re looking for something in return. Anyone who says different is a liar. At a minimum, they’re looking for the light of hope; the knowledge that something they’ve done has made life just a little happier for someone else.
My advice for today, don’t make assumptions. If you’re unsure about someone or something, where you stand perhaps, ask. And if you’re the person who’s been asked, show enough consideration to respond. Don’t make assumptions. Life’s too short. Make sure the people you love, know you love them. Thank those who make sacrifices for you. If someone inspires you, pass it on.
Very true and something we tend to forget. My favorite example of this comes from my years working retail. I worked the front desk and would constantly tell the boys thank you and please when they would bring carts in from the parking lot or bring a layaway down. I'd say thank you before they did it. One boy even said 'I haven't done it yet, why say thanks?' I told him because I might be busy when you bring and not get the chance. Those boys would usually do anything I asked them to. Because they were appreciated.
ReplyDeleteGreat post and good reminder. Thanks!
Using common courtesy is a seldom done thing anymore. Fewer and fewer children seemed to be taught the manners required for it, and even if they are, choose not to use them when their parents aren't their to scold them. I was raised to be polite, and unless provoked, I still am.
ReplyDeleteI think it is unfortunate that commom courtesy is so very uncommon. Life is too short to be discourtious. I want my husband, children, friends, sister, and nieces to know how much I love and appreciate them. I try to tell them every day, for those who live far away...I may not be able to say it every day---but I try to make it a monthly or weekly think. The "I'm just calling because I care" call.
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